and Kathryn from Omaha TV
Kathryn of Omaha TV is on, Mars TV is connected, and Mars Man is with Barack Husain Obama in Honolulu in an undisclosed location under a coconut tree.
Kathryn: Go ahead, Mars Man, you are on!
Mars Man: Thank you, Kathryn. Viewers, we are here with the US President hiding in Hawai. Dear Mr. President, how does it feel to be on eternal vacation in your homeland?
BHO: I take the Fifth.
Mars Man: Excuse me, sir, but you are not in Congress. You can speak freely here, no fear. Your obedient servants in America must’ve felt that they needed that new car smell you talked about a bit earlier than you expected.
BHO: They’re misguided. My smell is pretty good. Just got half a gallon of aged Old Spice on sale in the drugstore. As for my eternal vacation, that’s in the eye of the beholder. Eric Holder will get me back soon.
Mars Man: But Holder has also been deposed.
BHO: He will find a subtle way, as he did with Fast and Furious. And there is still the Executive Order. And I have my pen and phone. And I still have a free Obama phone, and if they take that away, I have a few boxes of them left in my wine cellar here.
Mars Man: You must’ve heard that John Kerry went to Paris to apologize for your absence at the World Rally in Paris and that he was accompanied by a singer totally unknown in France nobody could hear.
BHO: We tried Beyoncé, but the Military blocked her from going. Joe Biden was willing, but he sings false.
Mars Man: You must feel pretty impoverished here in your new hiding space.
BHO: It’s no different from the White House. We were pretty broke, anyway. And have a lot of debt.
Mars Man: Something on the order of nineteen plus trillion, we hear. That’s a great legacy.
BHO: The same as other Presidents. Bill and Hillary were dead poor when they left. That freaky Bush had to sell his football club to pay off his. I’ll just write another book and get my money back.
Mars Man: Hillary’s publisher lost millions on hers.
BHO: Sure, but she kept the ten million dollar advance. I can write and speak a lot about my legacy, and they’re willing to pay me high fees in the millions, dwarfing Hillary’s extra fees for nonsense speeches about how poor she was. I grew up in the ghettos of Nairobi and Jakarta. I can talk about my birth certificate. Best hoax ever.
Mars Man: What legacy would you speak of?
BHO: I have many. Take Obamacare. Carries my name. Historical. Fast and Furious. To rub that silly nose of Arizona Sherriff Joe Arpaio in it. IRS Audits of those wealthy Republicans that yielded a lot of money from unlawful Cayman tax shelters, and stopped those subversive Tea Party extremists. Worth at least ten speeches at a million a pop.
Mars Man: But your Democrat party lost the elections.
BHO: You’re wrong. We won. Two-thirds didn’t vote because they supported my policies.
Mars Man: But the Republicans have the majority in Congress thanks to voters not supporting your policies.
BHO: All rubbish. What Republicans? They always cave when I raise my finger or call on Sharpton to blackmail them. Why do we need a Republican party anyway? One party, the Democrats, is good enough. Would save the taxpayers a lot of money.
Mars Man: What are the many other legacies?
BHO: Stopping the Keystone pipeline. After all, I have a lot of shares in Buffett’s railcars transporting oil. Solar energy, called Obamasun. Millions of acres covered with solar panels. All made in China. Biofuels. Windmill farms.
Mars Man: But we are told Solyndra went bankrupt with five hundred million taxpayer money gone down the drain, the electrical car got busted, and wind farms kill the American Eagle, your treasured national symbol.
BHO: In any war, be it drones or fossil fuels, we face collateral damage. An unintended consequence we shall have to accept as the cost of doing business. As for the national symbol, too bad for the bird, but Obama’s face would be good enough, especially because it’s black. And black is beautiful.
Mars Man: Benghazi was a major failure of your Administration. Four brave Americans dead among which your Ambassador. Why was that poopoed by your underlings?
BHO: I’ve said many times before that Benghazi was Hillary’s Department. I can’t help her three o’clock phone was off the hook. I tried my best to help her out by sending Susan around the Sunday shows and because Susan loves me she did a fabulous job. Everyone believed she told the truth, as we always do.
Mars Man: But you said you could keep your doctor, your insurance plan and pay much less premium, and none of that proved true.
BHO: That’s old hat. We’ve explained all that. Sometimes the truth is better not told.
Mars Man: What is your view on Trumps’s take-over of your Government?
BHO: It’s illegitimate. They won’t get away with it. My underlings have launched an appeal to the High Court.
Mars Man: Judge Roberts may not be as friendly to you this time as he was with Obamacare. Both of you seem to have peculiar views on what is legitimate. But the way we see it on Mars, things will be a lot better in the USA, even the world. Your trillion foreign debts are going to be paid off; demonstrations will stop, and Russia and China will shut up. The IRS will be abolished, and taxes will be greatly reduced. Americans believe in themselves again. People say they’re relieved not to see you on TV anymore with your hands wobbling while you’re running down the steps of Air Force One.
BHO: Don’t ridicule my daily exercise. I can’t play golf all the time. As for Russia, we made rubble of it. China needs our money for our Solyndra panels. Iran will get their bomb regardless, so why bother. Not even the military can do anything about that. It will put the Shiites and the Sunni Muslims on a level playing field. Israel has the bomb already, so why not Saudi Arabia, too.
Mars Man: People on Mars are glad we are away far enough when it all blows up.
BHO: That’s how it is said in the Scripts: doomsday is here. I said I would fundamentally transform America and I did. Even the world. You can’t take that away from me. That’s my greatest legacy. I have to go back to Michelle now. She promised me a dinner of suckling pig if I voted for her Senate seat.
Mars Man: Fair enough, Mr. President. Greetings from Mars…..
The TV screen goes blank because a bomb went off somewhere. We are trying to fix the connection.
and Kathryn of Omaha TV
The Mother Earth’s Weekly Squirms show is on and Mars City TV and Omaha TV are connected through Video Screen.
Kathryn to Mars Man: Welcome to Omaha TV! The only TV station still operative under the new Temporary Military Regime! Our team is here in full for the first session in the New Year and we are watching the enormous rally in Paris in defense of free speech and against radical Islam. All major leaders are there including Fatah’s Abbas. The US Administration seems conspicuously absent. A missed opportunity but in line with their policy of appeasement.
Mars Man: Good point, Kathryn. This killing of freedom of the press, freedom of speech and the spread of political correctness on Mother Earth has culminated in the tragedy in Paris. How are you coming out on this down there?
Kathryn: Our panel is as usual very divided on these issues. The previous US Administration now deposed did not want to call a spade a spade and avoided systematically to call terrorist violence Islamic Jihad, even though Jihad is a term used in the Koran. Instead of taking these issues head-on, Eric Holder preferred to spend his time to push for changing the Redskins name and accusing General Petraeus of having revealed State secrets about matters such as the cost of Pentagon toilets to his mistress during pillow talk. Let’s give the floor to our panel here. Fred, go ahead.
Fred Miserable: It was about time Petraeus took over to protect American democracy and its exceptionalism, the only country that has free speech in its Constitution. But I’m afraid that so much harm has already been done that counter action by the US Government will be spineless and just for show.
Charles: Once you let the devil out of the box, it’s very hard to get him back in. For decades, Western governments, especially France, have been pussyfooting Islamic extremism, both at home and in their former colonies, because they didn’t want to face growing political unrest. You all know the French saying ‘après nous le déluge’. France established enclaves all over its country, so called no-go zones, to let Islamic communities from their former colonies create their own civil societies. These NGZs are constituted of unassimilated French nationals and have become ticking time-bombs. Several have been going off in Paris before, as well as other cities, but this last one is a harsh reminder that instead of diminishing unrest this policy of weakness and appeasement has only solidified jihadist aggression.
Fred Miserable: The awful reality is we have those NGZs even in the US and nobody talks about it.
Kathryn: What’s Mars’s view on this?
Shamus: Let me start of by saying we don’t have the same religious confusion on Mars as on Mother Earth. Here we all bow to Jupiter once a year and for the rest we just behave in accordance with solid principles of justice, regardless of whether you bow or not bow to Jupiter. If you don’t behave you risk being dragged to the market place and have other Martians throw rotten tomatoes in your face.
Elmer: One of our principles is free speech like on Mother Earth but you should not insult religious belief, whatever belief you practice. But on Mother Earth, free speech covers insulting someone else’s religion. Here this is forbidden by law, as is screaming “fire” on Mother Earth in the cinema to scare people. Religion is people’s souls and therefore über-sensitive. That’s playing with fire and underscored by the shooting in Paris. There’re lots of things you can make fun of but not of the sacred icons of someone’s religion.
Marlene Femenazi: Satire is a complex matter: where do you draw the line? I think when drawing a joke you have to keep in mind, “Am I not too offensive.” American cartoon satire maybe different from that in Europe that seems a bit more freewheeling. In my view you have to maintain a certain decency and Charlie Hebdo may have overstepped this boundary, even though they knew perfectly well what they were doing.
Huda: Making funny cartoons of Seksibombah in short skirts and big boops is fine with me. A big seller in the Middle East, I’m told. But women in your Middle East are not allowed to look at them. That’s hypocritical.
Pasha: How could they even look at them in burkas? But I hear that women throw off their burkas as soon as they set foot in the house and walk around in shorts and put on lipstick. Seems indeed a very hypocritical society.
Mars Man: Not less hypocritical than Mother Earth’s western governments. Appeasement in any form or shape is defeatist. History on Mother Earth is full of examples. You give a finger to the blackmailer and he takes your arm. Hitler did it with Neville Chamberlain. It led to World War II with 50 million dead. The Ayatollah has been doing the same with Obama, and unless checked it will lead to World War III with many more dead. Give money to Fatah and Hamas to appease them and it will lead to another Middle East War. We see Abbas walking up front with other leaders joining in the protest against radical Islam and killing of journalists, but what will he do when he is back home? Ask for more money that will be funneled to his terrorists?
Shamus: Don’t fight ISIL’s expansion and they will come after you, much bigger than in Paris, and before you know it you have another war with many more casualties. Appeasing jihadists will lead to more attacks because they see that you are a pussycat and they are winning. Mother Earth’s politicians are cowards until their peoples rise up and demand they protect them against evil. That’s why you have Petraeus and the military of the US taking over the Government, to protect the US Constitution, even though they had to do it with an unconstitutional act.
Charles: The boiling point has been reached. Being sweet to your enemy never works. Understanding them and defeating them does. American and European leaders must enforce respect built on fear that you won’t let them run over you. On the other hand, I agree with Elmer of Mars TV that you don’t poke in the fire by insulting people’s sacred religious icons because it causes resentment. What’s the point.
Elmer: Your Muslim calendar starts in 632 and has now reached year 1435. The same century that you had your Spanish Inquisition, burning Jews and Muslims on stakes because they did not adhere to Catholic religion and your Pope. You can compare that to Radical Islam today. Your Catholics believed at that time they were right. Today’s Islamic radicals believe they are right. Who believes anything in the West nowadays except free speech? Christians are pursued even in the USA today by atheists and socalled nonbelievers in the press. I predict it will take another 600 years before Islam and Christianity, if it still exists given your secular and atheist society, come together like your Catholics and Protestants did only recently.
Kathryn: All well said, but nobody over here seems to take that seriously, least the US Media. In the Middle East they make fun of Christ and nobody does anything about it here. What’s the view of Bob Demmofool, if you are able to talk after your mishap in Mexico.
Bob: Free speech is embedded in our Constitution. Unlimited, except for the few exceptions such as crying fire in the cinema, but the US President is president of all and cannot single out one religion as evil.
Henriette Forgetmenot: That doesn’t address the issue of going over the line with free speech. I’ve no objection regulating that religious insults even as jokes on Islamic icons should be limited, but only on the condition that all nations do that with Christianity as well, and that we fine any cartoonists wherever they are that do not. But you go to court to protest it and don’t terrorize and kill for it. No religion can claim supremacy over another. Catholic religion had to admit that as well, though they took their time.
Charles: Speeches and rallies against Islamic extremism make a clear point but only action counts. France and the rest of Europe must address their policies of digging their heads into the sand with the spread of no-go zones where Sharia is practiced. These cancer cells in western culture and society will eventually destroy it and democracy itself. We shall have to see what happens after the rallies. The conspicuous absence of the US is ominous and felt as a betrayal of American values.
Paul Turnmeon: That Hayat Boumedienne has a sweet face, though. Sad eyes, like someone distressed and disillusioned. I wish I could have a coffee with her to find out what she really is and thinks.
Marlene Femenazi: She is also shown holding a gun in your face. Happy coffee clatsh, Paul. Islamic radical women blow themselves up in coffee shops. Good luck.
Fred Miserable: Especially when the shops are Jewish, such as that kosher shop in Paris. There is still widespread anti-Semitism in France. Don’t forget France is Dreyfus country. It’s not only Muslims wanting to get rid of Jews.
Mars Man: If I may, Kathryn, it is gratifying to see the outpouring support for free speech and a free press, but the Media in your country are amongst the biggest sinners in terms of political correctness, with your President as their Commander.
Fred Miserable: Point well made. All of our networks consist of leftist liberals, most of our major cable stations and papers are, and all is encouraged by a president who said he would transform America. Which he did and succeeded in to a large extent.
Shamus: What we hope on Mars is that the new temporary military government will stop this hemorrhaging of American values and stands up for Western culture and philosophy and brings America back to living up to its intrinsic values.
Kathryn: We share your hope. This must be the end of our show, but much more will be said about this subject in the future. Next week we hope to have an interview with the deposed President in Hawaii. The latest news is that the Petreaus Interim Military Government will send him bills to sign but he cannot veto them. If he tries, they will take his golf sticks away, we hear. Dear viewers, both on Mars and Mother Earth, see you next time.