REMEMBER THIS BLOG OF 3 YEARS AGO? ONE READER PULLED IT UP AGAIN.
HOW FUNNY DOES THIS READ TO-DAY?
The Hullahoo Bar is crammed with patrons at the counter. Ted, Frank and their regular raucous friends crowd around the half-circle, arguing testily.
“Yes,” Ted says. “I am writing a new book titled ‘Killing Deep Throat’. I’m fed up with this DC bureaucracy boiling up all this crap. I’m going to drain that swamp with the successful Killing Libido Pill and write how we did it.”
“You mean if you suck out all the libido from the system you actually will stop it from regurgitating hatred, obstruction, resistance and fake news?” Frank roared, laughing.
“Exactly,” Ted confirms. “You saw the results of my KLP book: the anti-viagra virus. Much better than that stuff about aging young. Tell me, you guys, don’t you feel relieved after taking the KLP, that you don’t have that urge anymore to go after women ?”
“I give you that,” Bert says. “But how do you apply that to killing ‘Deep Throat’?”
“I have researched it in-depth,” Ted explains. “Deep-throat people are the ones that constitute the metacenter of the swamp. They are all sexually frustrated by ED, inability to perform in bed or having to fake it, and jealous of men that are successful with women or women successful with men. Just look at the mainstream media anchors, always a man and a woman, each competing for being the most obnoxious gofer on the screen. If the guy takes the KLP, he instantly loses his drive to be more obnoxious than the female anchor.”
“But then you’d be left with those pesky females and nothing would change,” Bert says.
“The female anchor will lose her nerve because she’d feel she is no longer pursued. That frustrates her natural instincts. Look at our female friends here, how annoyed and inoperative they are because they get no free beers or Martinis anymore. True, Angie?”
“Don’t put me on the spot, Ted KLP,” Angie retorts. “All that gallantry you guys were displaying was only with one purpose in mind and that’s bedding me or her.”
“How would you impose that KLP on anchors?” Henry of The Washington Post asks.
“By mixing it in their coffee machines,” Ted says. “We have an army of paid KLP operators that serve these studios, government and newspaper offices. You don’t drink coffee? No problem, they mix it in the watercoolers. Just watch your offices at the Post, Henry. Don’t feel that horny anymore? You may already have been swallowing KLP.”
“And who pays for that?” Cindy asks, always on the money.
“The National Health Institute,” Ted says. “They have a stake in the matter because the growing political divide in the US is ruining the country’s national health and sharply increasing Medicaid and Medicare costs for psychiatric care and domestic disputes. We’re expanding into the FBI, the Justice Department, even the Defense Department and the catacombs of the White House. You will soon hear that that FBI lover couple will disband because that stork guy has been klpeed and the whole case will come tumbling down.”
“This is pure subversion of democracy,” Henry says. “I’ll expose you and your group as undermining the Me 2 movement, the new platform of the Democrat party.”
“What nonsense,” Ted balks. “You mean I undercut Me 2 if I KLpee the guys they’re fighting, the Weismans, Roses, Lauers and Cosbys? You mean that to remain relevant M2 needs these guys back into the limelight somewhere so that they can continue barking at them?”
“Precisely,” Henry says. “Your group must emanate from the right that opposes sinful movements. Me 2 welcomes freedom.”
“What has that got to do with Killing Deep Throat, Ted?” asks Frank.
“I’m positive that all this political wrangling is sex-related,” Ted says. “Why is the special prosecutor so interested in that playboy girl instead of that silly Russian collusion? I’m sure that if we klpee him he and his case would disintegrate.”
Henry slammed his fist on the counter. “I oppose that because it would destroy all the media fun.”
“You see?” Alicia yelps across the counter. “You perverts only like to write about porn to sell your paper and you don’t care a fig about making America great again.”
“Hah!” Henry yells back. “We write it because you want to read it, and if we wrote only about the low unemployment rate you wouldn’t buy the paper.”
Ted scoffs. “Watch your Keurig coffeemaker, Henry. Soon you’ll be only interested in writing about the unemployment rate.”
Repeated because you asked.
Wish you all a blessed Easter.
A last meal and blessing hand
Bring us peace in holy land
Make your neighbor a best friend
Hate has no place in holy land
My heart will fold as red as blood
Forgive I will my tears will flood
You were created to be good
An undivided brotherhood
Lavender blue will spread in spring
It’s peace of mind that it will bring
Don’t make hate your tool of life
End your endless deeds of strife
Shout that peace is good for all
Not just you in clustered walls
Tear them down your flags of hate
They are NOT an act of faith
Shaking hands across the line
Sharing meals of bread and wine
Showing trust in someone’s heart
Making one a world apart
[And keep that dagger just in case
The other earthling shows bad grace ]
ENCHANTÉ, MARS MAN, KATHRYN, WILL BE ON LOCKDOWN AND RETURN ONCE AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL RE-EMERGES.
AU REVOIR, ARRIVIDERCI, ADIOS, FAREWELL, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, TOT ZIENS,
अलविदा (ALAVIDA). THANKS FOR BEING WITH US. ENCHANTÉ 1/23/2021 さようなら
MARS MAN’S AMERICA VIEWS ON MARS CITY TV
Mars Man, Mars City’s main TV News Anchor, is interviewed on Mars City TV.
“Mars, you are a frequent traveler to the United States. What’s your view on the current status there?”
“America is being ruined by the unruly and stupid left and its vassals at the Democrat Party and the Media, press and TV. Rigid journalism is dead there. They only write for their political agendas. They undermine the nation’s foundations and sabotaged President Trump for four years, for no other purpose than grabbing power over a sinking ship they bored holes in themselves.”
“Why is it sinking?”
“The American adversaries are doing everything to neutralize the country’s world power, wellbeing, economy and self-defenses. President Trump successfully put a halt to that. Still, the stupid left only poured dissent over the country with their Russia Russia hoaxes and frauding national elections while ignoring the Chinese and Russian cyber warfare inflicted on their nation. Like ostriches keeping their heads in the sand. This inward-looking stupidity will cost them and the Americans dearly but they don’t care. As long as they are in power.”
“Their elections were frauded?”
“Yes, they were. The Chinese let the Wuhan virus drift to America to destroy their economy in an election year and offer the opposing party plenty ammunition to falsify the election procedures with mail-in votes, using the people’s health as a proxy. The Chinese poured tons of money into the management of foreign-made computerized election machines that altered votes for President Trump with thousands of admirers to votes for Biden operating from his basement with only an aide and his wife looking on.”
“Could the Republican Party not do anything about it?”
“They tried to show it, even with videos as proof, but did so too late in what they call the battleground states or swing states, where votes may swing from Democrat to Republican or vice versa, as opposed to safe states where one party dominates. Judges in those swing states threw out their cases on procedural grounds, as they did not want to address the merits of the frauds. Even the Supreme Court showed its cowardice in not taking up Trump’s case.”
“What will happen in your view?”
“I’m sure that the new administration will cut the money for Trump’s project to conquer Mars. As a result, the Chinese may advance their efforts to beat the U.S and get here first. We should be prepared. I wouldn’t mind seeing the Americans trying to land here but am utterly fearful of the ruthless and obnoxious Chinese.”
“But what will happen to President Trump?”
“The American left got him finally, after unsuccessfully subverting his successful four-year-long efforts to bring America back from the Obama ruins. Obama wanted to fundamentally change America, that means rocking it off its constitutional foundations. That’s behind the vandalizing of historical statues by the radical left. Obama threw the first seeds for that. The stupid left will do its best to deepen this grievous ideology regardless of whether their house is burning under Chinese and Russian malfeasance.”
“Where will Trump go?”
“He isn’t gone yet. Millions of voters hope for a miracle that keeps him and his regime in power. If that proves a fata morgana, he will return home as President of his Shadow Government, as Biden was fraudulently elected and is illegitimate. Trump may return. Biden will be unable to move America ahead. The Chinese have him in his pocket due to his previous corruption with Chinese officials, and Russia will poke him in his face for the same reason. They have already done so with their latest cyber warfare. Locally, the American female radicals will pull his pants down and the shady Democrat leaders will advance Obama’s moves to fundamentally change America.”
“You have family in America. How are they doing?”
“My family, Kathryn, my wife, and our two children, Pete and Sue, are fine. They fled the Wuhan virus and are staying safely at an undisclosed Caribbean island where the Wuhan virus is banned. Kathryn continues her Omaha TV show via remote, and Pete and Sue follow their classes on-line and are pretty good at it, Sue at the University of Lincoln and Pete at Bucknell University.”
“What will Kathryn and your kids do?”
“Celebrate Christmas in the warm Caribbean sun, take a swim and go sailing, and return to Nebraska when the political climate and the Covid vaccination programs allow it. Nebraska is the only safe state left, but their New Year looks grim if a Biden administration becomes reality. I will visit when I can and keep you posted.”
“Thank you, Mars, for an enlightening interview.”
MARS MAN SPEAKS FROM MARS CITY TV
China won its battle with the USA without firing a shot by applying the Sun Tzu military strategy.
Just let the Wuhan virus float to the U.S. in an election year with a booming U.S. economy and an anti-China posture. Europe and the rest of the world will be collateral damage. If you have never heard of Sun Tzu, look him up on Wikipedia.
Using its mantra of “Never let a good crisis go to waste” – actually, Sir Winston Churchill said it first when fighting World War II, but in a different context – the democrat party happily decreed mail-in votes in democrat-led states to protect the populace against Covid. It did so while knowing full well that mail-in votes – especially if sent unrequested to people on unclean voter rolls – are subject to potential fraud.
There seems to be plenty of evidence that massive mail-in votes were abused to the detriment of President Trump. Enough evidence to investigate it in detail. This has prevented the states so far from validating the ballot counts. We also hear that Dominion Voting Systems and its software smartmatic can change votes. Dominion is a computer company used by many democrat states and operating from Toronto, Canada. It functions with foreign servers and is reportedly owned by Cuban and Venezuelan interests.
This is why Biden is not yet President-Elect, although the Media and the democrat party call him that.
In an interview on October 25, 2020, with Dan Pfeiffer, host of Pod Save America, the proven corrupt Joe Biden said his campaign “has assembled the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics.” Was this a Freudian slip?
All this raises big questions: was the election rigged? Is it beginning to look like a massive premeditated democrat election fraud? The final democrat push to unseat President Trump after the failed Russia Russia farce, the perfidious, frivolous, and utterly failed Ukraine phonecall impeachment, and the proven Obama spying on the Trump campaign in 2016 to derail his election? Will your Supreme Court be fair?
And why would Americans vote en masse for Biden, who attracted little voter enthusiasm, managed hardly any audience in his “rallies,” and often stumbled?
Or was it a massive anti-Trump vote? For a President whose policies, among others, lowered the unemployment rate to 3.8% before Covid – for the first time since the fifties – increased workers’ participation to some 160 million, achieved the best employment rates ever for Afro-Americans, Asians, Hispanics, and women, with wages finally rising after eight bland Obama years? A trend that was recovering surprisingly fast after the lockdown? Are your elections not about “it’s the economy stupid”? So why choose Biden’s camp of socialists, only because you don’t like outsider and non-politician Trump calling a spade a spade the way your everyday people do?
The Trump camp attracted thousands of supporters at each rally. They subscribed to the in-person vote at the box, your old-fashioned American way that existed for more than 200 years. Months before the election, Trump warned about the flaws of mail-in voting. He had a convincing lead at the end of election night, but then the “blue mail-in votes” swept in mysteriously after battleground states stopped ballot counting.
Because of the expected Republican Senate majority, the initial fears of stockmarket investors turned into a rally: hooray for gridlock, whatever the presidency. The fundaments of the American institutions would not be derailed.
Then followed the good news about covid vaccines exiting their final trial stage to become available in December. This is a major success of Trump’s warp speed project, called after Star Trek’s faster than light travel speed.
But if your Republicans lose their Senate majority in the Georgia run-off election on January 5, 2021, Schumer said “everything is on the table”, and that means fundamentally changing America by adopting the platform of the radical left.
It may change your investor optimism and everybody else’s who is banking on sanity.
But China smiles. The tariffs will be abolished, efforts to decouple from China’s economy will be halted, and China’s policy to take over American allies like Taiwan will not be battled. Even Iran’s Ayatollahs smile: the Iran nuclear deal will be resurrected, with John Kerry in the lead. And Macron smiles: the Paris Climate Agreement will be restored and force the American taxpayer to pay for sins only the climate change freaks imagine while leaving China off the hook.
You Americans are in your second civil war. America may not survive with your radical left’s agenda. Biden is just their puppet and he hides in their pocket.
That’s how we see it on Mars.
Not a pleasant future for you guys – except your “Belt-Way Elite” – if America goes that way.