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Talking China: Some of you may remember Mars Man, Chief Anchor at Mars City TV, married to Kathryn of Omaha TV in a happy mixed extraterrestrial marriage. Mars Man visits Omaha TV regularly, landing in a nearby razed cornfield with Space Scooter  One. In view of all the current talk about trade negotiations with China, we repeat Mars Man’s visionary interview a year ago with Lu Kung Si, China’s Governor of the US, about the status of the former US, which is now a prosperous province of China, with the help of Bernie Sanders.

“Dear viewers, I am Kathryn Holliday, spouse of our dear Mars Man. Today we air Mars Man’s long-awaited interview with Lu Kung Si, China’s US representative, in his new office at the Empire State Building in New York, taped last July. We do not have permission from Lu Kung Si to air this interview, but we do so on behalf of Mars TV. Mars City TV, are you connected? All right, here we go:

Mars Man: “Lu, nice meeting you again. You have a magnificent office here. You can see the whole world. On a clear day, you can even see Beijing. On the other hand, I hear you have no clear days in Beijing.”

Lu: “Thanks for your welcoming words Mars Man, but we Chinese usually are more polite at the start of an interview instead of throwing mud.”

Mars Man: “Blame my Americanization for this, my apologies. After all, the US has been sending these rovers to Mars and they infected us with their bad manners.”

Lu: “You are forgiven, but I must give you a red flag in accordance with Chinese State Rule 180437. No democracy or free speech here anymore.  One more and you are out the door.”

Mars Man: “How are you dealing with the US now that you have submitted it to your communist culture of serfdom?”

Lu: “I warn you Mars Man for framing your questions in an adverse manner. Americans will retain freedom more or less like Hong Kong, within prescribed limitations. We use American security systems, which we borrowed from the NSA, to control the Americans. Besides, we have over one hundred scientific torture methods, including our well-known water drop and slow death by a thousand cuts. No Miranda rights and Department of Justice susceptibilities. We have abolished the ACLU and their members have all been sent to labor camps or been incarcerated for life.”

Mars Man: “That must discomfort many American citizens. On Mars, we are concerned about China’s militarism and aggressive totalitarian methods. After you have made the US your subsidiary, other countries of Planet Earth fear losing their freedom. We understand Europe is next.”

Lu: “Who says we do not belong to the free world? We have elections too, you know, but we keep order with our one party system. The US lost the taste for discipline. Other countries, including Europe, should learn from us and adapt. Several are communist already. President Obama was our avid student and did most of our preparatory work so that we could just walk in here and take over without fundamental change. It was too late for Trump to stop that.”

Mars Man: “But your mercurial capitalist policies are pure state rule and make everyone unhappy.”

Lu: “You remember former President Obama crying on TV that he had this messy democracy to deal with? That’s what brought down the US.”

Mars Man: “But all your excess money is invested in your military.”

Lu: “Has Mars forgotten Planet Earth’s history? A century ago, China was invaded by Japan, Russia and Western countries, including the US, and Shanghai was made into an American brothel. We suffered a lot of misery and we don’t want that to happen again.”

Mars Man: “All right, but where do you need all that weaponry for that was reportedly fabricated with what they say stolen US technology?”

Lu: “Mars Man, I must warn you. You sound if Mars is on the side of the West what’s left of it. We only need to open NASA’s files to invade Mars, don’t forget that.”

“Mars Man: “Point taken, Lu, but please answer the question.”

“Lu: On the stolen technology, that’s because we are good at stealing and reverse engineering. We know math. The American kids did not do their math to America’s peril. We must rule the world to protect China. ”

Mars Man: “On Mars, we thought the land of Confucius was the image of peace, wisdom, and respect for humanity. Didn’t he say ‘Don’t impose on others what you don’t wish for yourself?’”

Lu: “That’s grossly taken out of context. Don’t confuse Confucius with Western linear thinking. Confucius also said: ‘The cautious never err.’ Read our White Paper on China’s Peaceful Development. It’s on the Web.”

Mars Man: “I don’t read Chinese. Give me the gist, please.”

Lu: “It makes the case that China does not interfere with other countries’ internal affairs and does not bully other countries, such as America did. We only come when invited, as we were by Obama and Walmart.”

Mars Man: “Your child policy has created a massive growth of only male people. What are the sexual implications of that?”

Lu: “These are questions you are not allowed to ask. Remember our Rule 180437. Your former Vice President Joe Biden fully understands this one-child policy, so go and ask him.”

Mars Man: “Let me put it differently then. How will you deal with the striking increase in Chinese male homosexuality with all these single men? I thought homosexuality was forbidden in China. What do these guys do if there aren’t any girls left?”

Lu: “We have a vibrant girl doll production in China that can satisfy the most sexually driven men. They giggle, coo, wriggle, kiss, moan, and can do it up and down. The military gets them free. We have all types, Asian, Caucasian, Hispanics, you name it. Demand in Province America has already exceeded our wildest expectations. Even lesbians love them. I can send you our vendor list if you want.”

Mars Man: “Thanks but no thanks, Lu, they don’t work on our Mars bodies. Goodbye and see you next time.”

Kathryn of Omaha TV: “That was it, dear audience. OMAHA TV risks to be closed by the Chinese authorities for broadcasting this interview. Only NBC is still functioning with their communist staff under Chinese state control. Soon we will have to travel to Mars to get the real news.”

A blank screen appears.




Mars Man TV – Does Planet Earth Self-Destruct?

 Mars Man

Kathryn of Omaha TV: “Dear audience, welcome to Omaha TV. We taped Mars Man’s interviews in New York during his recent earthly summer vacation from Mars with Dr. Hank Kisshanger, political analyst and Professor Milton Friedmayer, economist. Here we go.”

 Mars Man: “Hank, we believe on Mars that Planet Earth’s situation is getting worse by the day. We see a worldwide leadership gap, US weakness, Chinese military aggressiveness and cyber war and a never ending Middle Eastern turmoil. This is increasing rogue state activity of North Korea, Iran, Syria, Hezbollah and Hamas, and islamist destruction in Pakistan and India. At the same time economic activity is declining all over. What’s your view? Is Planet Earth self-destructing?”

Hank Kisshanger: “You Martians are right on the money. People on Planet Earth are more divided than ever and splitting into rogue state governments, restless populations, wrong economic policies and failing democracies. China is becoming the yellow danger, which it was fifty years ago already but now it’s real. Unless sensible political leaders emerge to turn things around and the USA maintains its economic and military power, Planet Earth will indeed self-destruct.”

Mars Man: “Milton, what’s your view?”

Milton Friedmayer: “I cannot agree more. We are at a crucial crossroads. As has been said by many on your program before, people continue to disregard economic laws, be it in the West, China or the Far-East.”

Mars Man: “Any examples?”

Milton: “Take the USA. Some may remember from school one of economics’ basic laws and that is quote “the fallacy of the broken windows” unquote. It’s particularly relevant now with the stimulus act in 2009. Empirical economic evidence has clearly shown that repairing broken windows, using stimulus money, does not grow the economy. It only replaces what already existed and prevents the owner from using that money for something new that would improve his business. Besides, it does not repair the problem that caused the windows to break in the first place. Why did they break? Rioting? Over-regulated manufacturing producing bad glass? Windows installed by inefficient union labor?”

Mars Man: Sure, but what’s the point?”

Milton: “Buildings must close to repair the broken windows. As a result demand falls because workers in the buildings can’t earn money. So, with declining sales, businesses must let people go. If the glass had been made better or installation been more professional, the breakage would not have occurred. Now government wants to use taxpayer money to repair the windows and they call that “investment”. You see the futility?”

Mars Man: “Yes I do, but what to do instead?”

Milton: “Unless investors see measures to fix the causes of the breakage, for example stop regulating, they will not risk fresh money and employ more people. Printing and borrowing money for stimulus to pay for the window repairs does not increase demand and is no incentive for the private sector.  Fearing more taxes and market instability, they will hide their money in gold or other value commodities instead. Keynesian economics to repair the windows may result in a short term push for window makers, but it’s not investment. Broader private sector incentives are needed to get the market economy going again. Printing money and increased debt will get you no more than a declining dollar or Euro and growing inflation.”

Mars Man: “What broader incentives?”

Milton: “Exactly the opposite of what the current US administration – and some others in the world – is doing: more spending and increase debt. I repeat, empirical economic evidence has amply shown that in an economic downturn, economic revival results from lowering the tax burden, lowering debts, deregulation, and increased extraction of national energy resources to lower fuel costs. Not from Keynesian government programs and spend thrift politicians. Economic revival will yield higher tax revenue by itself, no need to increase the rates, and will stimulate employment.  The private sector is the engine of growth, not the Government. It’s as simple as that. It’s incomprehensible why so many politicians continually forget these simple facts or worse, want to forget them. ”

Mars Man: “Hank, as Milton says, why do socialist governments not apply these facts when they have a proven track record?”

Hank: “Because the trap of the utopian sound bite works better for them politically. Socialists want to be re-elected to maintain state power. Socialists blame the downturn on the rich because they say that the rich siphoned off the money from the poor or made bad investments that brought the economy down. For them, rich people are bad people because they make profits. Profit for socialists is the same as a red flag for a bull. Stealing from the rich through taxation –- and that includes the hard working small business man who makes 200,000 to 250,000 dollars per year employing other people -– is justified and good. They advocate spreading the wealth by having the so-called rich pay more taxes for lush but unproductive government programs for the so-called poor, to make them dependent on them and continue them in power. The large segment that doesn’t pay income taxes — some say more than 40 percent in the USA alone –- has no problem with that.”

Milton: “In the same camp you find environmentalists who want to regulate everything they think will destroy the planet based on doubtful scientific data, and without doing an objective cost-benefit analysis. They do so out of an obsession to control other people’s lives. This grinds manufacturing to a halt or increases outsourcing to other countries where these rules don’t exist, such as China. Combine these forces under an utopian leader, and you have all the ingredients for financial and economic collapse.”

Mars Man: “You think the current utopian regime in the USA will change its policies if the economy stays the same or god forbid gets worse?”

Hank: “No, because the current Presidential outlook is statism whether they want to admit it or not. In their view the government should own and produce what people need, at prices and with rules set by the Government. A free capitalist system produces what people want at prices the market determines, which includes profit for further investment. The current administration hates profit and does not want to change its philosophy.”

Mars Man: “Not even if the economic situation remains bad?”

Milton: “Obama got elected under a canopy of hope and change. Hope and change was based on utopian philosophies that had long since been proven unsuccessful, but voters got hyped by his rhetoric and now they are paying the price. The economy must add some 14 million jobs over the next three years to get back to where we were in 2006. That is some 400,000 jobs each month. We got barely 100,000 jobs recently and they pretend that recovery is on the way thanks to their good policies. It’s pure demagoguery. But despite the obvious, voters are still hyped and they give Obama the benefit of the doubt. That hype carries him along so he won’t change.”

Mars Man: “On Mars, we manage this much better. We would not elect a leader with such misleading views.”

Milton: “US voters –- and similar hopefuls around the world -– got ample evidence of Obama’s socialist beliefs but ignored them at their peril. The press played a major role in glorifying his bad policies and hiding its many pitfalls. Many of those voters are now unemployed. The virtual one party system during the first two years has increased the malaise threefold. Even though it ended up creating the conditions for divided government, it has largely succeeded. The aim is to make voters dependent so they can keep power. They will do everything in their might to succeed, whatever they say. The electorate has to choose which way it wants to live, in misery for all or prosperity with chances for all.”

Mars Man: “Will the American electorate or any electorate be smart enough to make that choice?”

Milton: “The old USSR including Gorbachev, France under Mitterrand, Britain under Harold Wilson, all proved that socialist utopian rule fails to maintain prosperity. It failed under Carter too. With these examples, conservative politicians were able to bring back the principles of the market economy, meaning limited government, strong defense, lower taxes, freedom of factors of production, supported by rational and affordable safety nets. But as soon as they reach their peak, socialist believers break it down again with class warfare because they hate production for profit. Nonetheless, profit is what keeps people employed.”

Mars Man: “Still, we don’t understand why the same mistake is made over and over again.”

Milton: “We have many young voters in the world and especially young voters have not learned their economic history. They are vulnerable to charismatic smiles and are easily receptive to the utopian dreams because they sound so good. Everybody’s equal and earns equal pay, spreading the wealth, and gets easy retirement money. They like social programs covering you from cradle to grave through higher taxes on profits leaving little room for reinvestment.  The only problem is that this statist system doesn’t work: human beings need an incentive to get better and if they don’t get it they won’t try. It’s a fact of life. This has happened in Europe time after time, most recently in Greece, Spain, Portugal, and Ireland and you see where these economies have gone: to pot.”

Mars Man: “But they say that President Obama is the brightest President the USA ever had. How come he doesn’t understand these economic laws?”

Milton: “Because he does not want to. He had lately again one of his Freudian slips, stating “we have this messy democracy”. This was a similar slip as “spreading the wealth”. Obviously, he prefers absolute majority like in a totalitarian state so that he can do what he wants. If he can’t get his way in Congress, he circumvents the system by ordering regulations through executive orders. This damages the economy and stifles investment and that’s exactly what he wants. He wants to drive the economy down and make the larger segment of the population dependent on his state intervention, although he doesn’t say that in public. He continues his utopian class warfare rhetoric to achieve it, and hopes it will assure his re-election and one party rule.”

Hank: “I agree. To prevent this, voters need a charismatic conservative leader, and if the conservative movement does not offer one, the socialists may win again to the country’s detriment. That’s why they do their utmost to discredit the American revolt that has been called the Tea Party. This was originally an American revolt against excessive British taxation. Now it’s an American revolt against excessive American taxation and debt, and the media discredits it. Where’s their logic?”

Milton: “It’s going to be a rough fight because conservative movements tend to have strong opposition from that powerful media. The influential moguls that own them have vested interests in driving the economy down to short the markets and make tons of money in precious metals and commodity swings. In addition, socialists use trench fighter tactics to get votes as we saw with Acorn and now again with “Project Vote”, which are known for voter fraud. At present there are some good conservative speakers who say the right things, but no one has yet reached sufficient critical mass to stop this devilish machine.”

Mars Man: “Do you believe then that the current USA Administration will be re-elected?”

Milton: “In my view no, despite all their money and trench fighting tactics. It will be hard to turn the current economy around in the remaining year  in the reigning negative investment climate and continued high unemployment rates. Only in a totalitarian state can a statist administration remain in power under such circumstances. An American administration has never been re-elected when the economy is down. That was the main reason why the Republicans lost in 2008, and why they won in 1980 with President Reagan.”

Hank: “I would not underestimate Obama and his clique. He has got the charisma and is still liked more than Congress. His support is in the tax-free mob class and the selfish media. Again, much depends on the credibility and strength of the conservative opponent. A large segment of the electorate thinks wrongly it has no stake in economic investment and is keen on keeping their comfortable but unsustainable prerogatives unchanged. That is the danger. We have seen that with the riots in Greece, France, Italy and England. If the opposition says it is going to curb those vested interests, the administration will inflame their excitable mob crowds of labor unions, teacher unions and outright anarchists like in Wisconsin and the media will only be too happy to cover it widely. Conservatives will have a hard time convincing those voters.

Mars Man: “What would be the consequences of the regime’s continuation?”

Milton: “They will break the country’s back, as they have done before to so many other countries that are limping now. France and England are good examples. The reality is that these voters are short term thinkers and won’t change for the better. This is why the opponent’s credibility is of so much importance for majority support. Margaret Thatcher and Reagan were able to win and turn it around, despite socialist resistance supported by the media, but leaders like them don’t come up every time.”

Mars Man: “Do you think a third party or third candidate in the USA could win?”

Hank: “It’s never worked. First, the Tea Party is not a party but a revolt of people across party lines. Because Tea Party people are those who are paying taxes they are likely to be mostly on the conservative side, and would vote for a Republican rather than a spend thrift Democrat who has slipped to the left. Second, none of the current conservative candidates have the strength for a successful independent run.”

Mars Man: “Not even your billion dollar icon Donald Trump?”

Hank: “He says he may run as an independent, but he overlooks the fact that you cannot run a government like a business because of the many divergent groups a country has and the political and judiciary system it is based on. He makes good points, but you have to work within the national and international systems to achieve your goals and if your approaches are too singular, and his are, voters will not elect you. In other words, as happened before, an independent candidate would only ensure the continuation of the incumbent administration.”

Mars Man: “Dr. Kisshanger and Professor Friedmayer, many thanks to both of you as you have enlightened our Mars community with a clear view of Planet Earth’s conflicting views. Let’s meet again soon.”

Kathryn of Omaha TV: “Dear viewers, thanks for watching us. In our next broadcast we will show Mars Man’s interview with Lu Kung Si, China’s US representative, in his office at the Empire State Building in New York. Till soon.”

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