ENCHANTÉ – HAIR AND POLITICS
Fred and I sat at a bar drinking beer overhearing other guys drinking beer.
“I bet that that Mary The Pan wins the French elections,” one said.
“How so?” asked his buddy.
“’Cause she’s blond. Trump’s blond too.”
“But Hillary’s blond, and she lost,” his buddy said.
“I bet she wore a wig when she did,” the other guy said.
“No, that’s Maxine Waters, she does.”
“You mean if she put on a blond wig she’d become President?”
“She’d bleach it, then impeach it,” the other guy said.
“Noticed Putin’s hair’s blond?”
“I hear he’s auditioned for Fox News.”
“No kidding! Fox’s women are all blond; the men are bald or black-haired.”
“That’s racist,” a blond fellow butted in.
“Why? They all paint it, black or white,” someone else said.
“So to become President, you must be blond or paint your hair?” his friend asked.
“If you look at the primaries, only the blond ones made it.”
“But the former POTUS hair was black,” another guy said.
“Yeah, but he was black,” his neighbor pointed out.
“That’s racist,” the blond fellow repeated.
“You must be a liberal,” his neighbor said. “Only liberals call everything racist.”
“And you must be a white supremacist,” the blond fellow sneered, his voice rising.
“And you must keep your mouth shut,” his neighbor shouted, hammering his empty stein on the counter.
“Hey, guys, cool it, let’s have another blond!” Fred said.
Fresh blonds came along.
“I’ll have a black stout,” I asked the bald bartender.
“You must be a racist!” the blond fellow gibed.
“I knew you’d say that Blondie,” I said. “Go paint your hair somewhere else!”
“I stay right here,” the blond fellow said. “Free speech.”
“Free speech your ass!” Fred said. “You guys get always rude when you lose an argument.”
A blonde waitress behind the counter joined us arguing men.
“Gentlemen prefer blondes,” she said, handing me my black stout, staring down the blond loudmouth. “But for that, you must be a gentleman first.”
The blond fellow blushed and shut up.
“Hi, Amy,” one guy greeted her, glad that the ruckus abated. “We got an issue here.”
“Yeah, who wins the French elections?” Fred’s neighbor asked her. “I bet it’s Mary.”
“We just had elections, didn’t we?” Amy said.
“I mean that Mary The Pan in Paris.”
“Isn’t she a boxer?” Ami asked, holding up her arm and flexing her biceps.
“She wants to be French President, and she’s blonde like you,” Fred clarified.
“Like Hillary?” Amy said. “Then she must win.”
“But she’s extreme rightwing,” Fred’s neighbor said.
“I never eat wings,” Ami said, “left or right. Bad for your hormones.”
“Fred,” I said, “now she’s talking! I’m getting hungry.”
“I got nice spicy wings for you; just a minute,” Amy offered.
“But what about my hormones?”
“You’ve got white hair,” Amy said. “You won’t know the difference.”
“Right,” the blond fellow came back. “With that hair, you must be rightwing.”
Fred and I looked at each other.
“We’ll offer you another blond, Blondie,” Fred growled. “If you stop yammering. You guys lost.”
“Right-o,” Blondie cheered. “Blond trumps.”
ENCHANTÉ – Hurricane Hillary
This is going to be a rather personal essay. Matthew has left after much destruction. Now Hurricane Hillary is brewing that could be much worse.
All my followers know by now that I am a World War II kid who was liberated by the US in 1945. Boy, were we impressed by those GIs, driving their tanks and trucks, and rolling up those hated Nazis. The fun we had when the sun broke out, and we could walk freely on the streets again.
Ever since then we looked up at the US. Oh yes, there was always criticism about overpowering Washington and the CIA. But we felt safe. In the US, people believed in freedom and Christianity. They had great universities, the envy of many students in Europe.
Then the great Eisenhower became president in 1953, just after Truman had completed the Korean war. I was in boarding school then. We still remember the stories about the “yellow danger” (China) and “the Russians are coming.” Would we have a World War III? Somehow, Truman had stopped McArthur from defeating aggressive North Korea, because the US did not want war with China, which supported North Korea. I think this was one of the biggest mistakes the US made at that time. Now North Korea has metastasized into a nuclear madman.
As off John Kennedy, the US has been slipping. We stood sort of on the wayside, still thinking the US was invincible, its people utter strong, its military overpowering, its science unmatched. But with the Bay of Pigs, we began to see the first fissures in the almighty US. All right, Kennedy stared down Kroutchev to remove his nuclear stockpile in communist Cuba, but the Pigs thing was not forgotten. Nonetheless, everybody remembers where they were when they heard when Kennedy was assassinated: I had just started my first job in Holland and when I visited a friend he came down the stairs to tell me the horrible news.
Then Johnson followed with his expensive Great Society and his losing battle of Vietnam, mainly because the US lost popular support due to a growing leftist anti-war movement, headed by Jane Fonda alias Hanoi Jane. Johnson knew he would not be reelected.
The era of Nixon finished in disgrace, again pushed to a large extent by that growing leftist movement. By then I had landed in the US for a job with the World Bank in Washington D.C. I remember talking to a foreign service friend at our regular dinners in town – we were both still bachelors – arguing about the pros and cons of Nixon’s Administration. We were both conservative guys, but I couldn’t support the destruction of justice. To me, that was one of the greatest assets of the US: law and order. I was mightily impressed with the Saturday Night Massacre when the Attorney General and his Deputy resigned when Nixon fired the Watergate Special Prosecutor. Somehow, the principles of justice were upheld, but it left a bitter aftertaste. Now we look at an even greater destruction of justice: Hillary’s private e-mail server in service of her pay-for-play at the State Department, thousands of e-mails destroyed that would prove her criminal intent. A White House, Department of Justice and the FBI all in sync to deny it, all led by the Democrat Party. Who was worse, Nixon or Hillary? And they want her to be President?
As a foreigner in the US with World War II still in the back of my mind, I wanted it to remain strong and principled. But something happened along the way. There was a tendency towards socialism that I had found one of the most dangerous fissures in European society. When Carter followed Ford with his fireside chats, I began to wonder. When I had to pay 14% interest on a mortgage, I wondered even more. Was this still my admired USA? Then Reagan came and proved the best President in a long time, bringing sanity back to economic management and military strength.
Unfortunately, things changed for the worse again when the Clintons appeared on TV.
My wife and I, both “resident aliens” and guests of the US, looked at that couple’s eyes. You know a lot about people when you look in their eyes. Those watery, slippery untrustworthy eyes of Bill and that false smile with those hard eyes of his wife, Hillary. Frankly, if that weird Perot had not messed up the reelection of the older Bush, that Bonny and Clyde couple would never have made it to the White House. But history wanted otherwise. You all know what happened then. The impeachment was no surprise to us. The stories about assaulted women being threatened by Hillary weren’ t either. The media played along in many ways. While Nixon resigned, Bill did not: the Senate prevented that, despite the Kenn Starr report. All Democrats voted “not guilty.” They always do when their own kin is endangered. Republicans throw their own kin under the bus as soon as somebody gets smeared by the left and its media.
The US became more and more divided. The media became more and more partisan. We did not understand that. We used to watch CBS with Walter Cronkite. Then Dan Rather came on, and we felt an immediate bias to the left. When he faltered with his blank screen, we turned to ABC. We liked David Brinkley and Peter Jennings. But then Peter Jennings started his leftist tunes. We switched to Tom Brokaw at NBC, but he also seemed absorbed by the leftist body snatchers. What was happening to the Great USA? What did these so-called “liberals” want? Why undermine what was once a great nation? We could not figure it.
Abroad on missions, I had no other access to US news but CNN. Soon, those guys were no better. Everything had a leftist tweet. They called it the Clinton News Network. I watched TV 5 in France instead.
Then George Bush came after the chad election with Al Gore who had invented the Internet. 9/11, the dot.com drama, the Iraq invasion and then Katrina. I had never seen so much biased media reporting in my life in one presidency. What the hell was happening? We watched Fox News, at least you got some fair and balanced information, although it always seems that the guys or gals “on the left” are paid to be on the left, and the ones on the right just the same. It’s a boring game. When Juan Williams comes on, I mute. We’re no longer watching Miss Megan Kelly’s show. We find her pedantic, condescending, and arrogant. Her first primary debate with Bret Beyer was a disgrace.
And then we got the Obama phenomenon. Again, my wife and I sat in front of the TV, watching this Senator guy talking everybody under the table. He said to Reid he had this “little gift.” The pied piper, we said. We have nothing against “black.” We are a mixed-race couple, me a Caucasian European, she of East-Indian descent. But he had been a collaborator with Saul Alinsky and Bill Ayers, both socialist statist and communist uprooters, sat in the pew with that freaking Reverend Jeremiah Wright with his chickens are coming home to roost, and wanted to fundamentally change America. Even our kids voted for the guy. What for? Because McCain was a fuddy-duddy. Now they regret that vote. You vote for a platform, and its incoming administration, not for a celebrity smile.
California gurls – Getty Images
We found Obama dangerous and could not understand these Obama girls and all these other people falling for him. Eight years of no economic progress, utmost partisan corruption in government, a broken national health system, the Fast and Fury weapons smuggle leading to the death of an immigration officer, a suicidal immigration policy, and a dismal racial divide. A reckless failed foreign policy that weakened the US tremendously and has put the world at risk. And so forth. You call that a “legacy?”
Nowadays, we are just shaking our heads. So many people seem to support Hurricane Hillary after all her obvious misdeeds for which anyone else would have been bigly incarcerated. Outsider Trump is vilified because of lewd remarks he made a decade ago when in the entertainment world and not even a “politician,” while he enunciates exactly the policies that the US needs to get back on its feet. But the only thing that the stupid media wants to talk about is sex (sex sells) while the ship is burning, and the major issues of immigration, security, economic revival and racial harmony are not even raised. Even his party jumps ship. What has happened to this once great USA?
It is no longer the land of the brave but has become the land of the knaves. Millionaire football players don’t want to stand for the National Anthem anymore. Bleu lives don’t matter. Catholics need to get rid of their medieval religious structure. Hey, what about those radical Islamists and their horrific horrible medieval killings?
Hurricane Hillary would destroy whatever is left of this great USA if you let her make landfall. You won’t recognize it anymore once she has passed. It’s too bad we don’t have a vote. Not that it would matter much. The ignoramuses of this country prefer to live in national decline and misery, as long as they get their goodies. Meanwhile, Bonny and Clyde would rent out the Lincoln Bedroom again. In competition with the Trump hotel around the corner on Pennsylvania Avenue. Trump builds things. Obama-Clinton do not build anything. Only profit from public service and taxpayer money and get rich with it. And that’s the view of a foreigner guest of the maligned USA.
You know for whom we would vote. We hope you would vote for the US revival ticket. Don’t think it’s in the bag for Hurricane Hillary, as the media want you to believe. There is that silent majority that never gets polled. They have been awakened.
Enchanting The Swan: http://amzn.to/1LPFw5o. Grad students and musicians Paul and Fiona fall in love when they perform The Swan and agree to marry, but paternal evil blocks their love. Will they play the Swan again?
Some Women I Have Known: http://amzn.to/1QIL94B. Piano John confuses playing sheet music with playing between the sheets. Will his anchors in life, Lady D and Audrey Hepburn, save him from self-destruction?
A Naughty Romance: http://amzn.to/2epkuTj. A piano affair leads to a surprising twist.
Overheard on St. Maarten’s Beach
Kathryn from Omaha TV
Mars Man and Kathryn are enjoying sunny conversations on the beach at St. Maarten, away from it all, especially the cold.
Mars Man: I believe it’s Superbowl today.
Kathryn: Yeah, the most inflated show of the year.
Mars Man: I hear the former president is going nuts confined to his golf club on Hawai.
Kathryn: From our perspective, he was already going nuts in the White House from what he was saying.
Mars Man: They beheaded another guy, the beasts. They must have stolen those orange suits from the Dutch soccer team.
Kathryn: What we need is a guy like Eisenhower. Go in there with allied forces in a big way and wipe them off the earth.
Mars Man: It seems that Petraeus isn’t doing much about it either. I’d hoped that by now he would’ve pulverized them to pork stew.
Kathryn: They don’t eat pork over there.
Mars Man: What about that tape story that the Pentagon undermined Hillary on that Libya war? What with the White House listening-in device! Remember Obama saying that Muammar Gadaffi had to go? Like poor Hosni Mubarak? And what did we get in return? Four brave Americans dead and more of BHO’s cruel Muslim friends.
Kathryn: He says he will degrade them and ultimately destroy them. What does that mean, degrade? So far they’ve been upgrading each day. Ultimately means he leaves it on the plate of the next president. Who said Michelle was a good cook?
Mars Man: America is in deep dodo with this man. The chickens will come home to roost, like his master the reverend Jeremia Wright said when BHO sat in his pew but wasn’t listening.
Kathryn: We heard the new Congress is acting up. All democrats are wearing long johns. Reid fell so hard over all his lies he was shoveling out of his office that he broke his nose, blinded one eye, and had to get a face lift.
Mars Man: I heard it was O’Connell who’d punched him K.O. because he’d been so mean to him for six years.
Kathryn: We got the measles again in the US. Unidentified measles. Came with the illegal border crossers from those third world countries visiting Mickey Mouse in L.A. Ever had the measles?
Mars Man: We don’t have them on Mars. What do they look like, shrimps?
Kathryn: Like mosquito or ant bites all over your body.
Mar Man: Another good reason to keep you earthlings away from Mars. That last spaceship went to pieces again. If humans want to come to Mars, let them take Amtrak, but they may get stuck on the way.
Kathryn: See who’s coming. Old Dr. Kisshanger and Lu from Chinatown, both peacefully together on the beach. Hi Dr.Kisshanger, Lu, how are you?
Dr. Kisshanger: Fine, I’m still writing more memoirs. Our days were so much better than yours. May we sit down?
Lu: Great to see you. Even though we’d hoped you’d do better under Chinese colonial rule, it hasn’t got any better in Washington.
Kathryn: You taught them how to lie. For six years we haven’t heard anything but. What do you expect?
Dr. Kisshanger: He who turns oriental gets disoriented.
Mars Man: Lies in Washington are just the plain truth. If you told the opposite nobody would believe you.
Kathryn: Well, Dr. Kisshanger, what do you feel about today’s world?
Dr. Kisshanger: No see, no hear, no speak.
Mars Man: But that’s Chinese!
Lu: No sir! This is plain Shakespearian English. Besides, in China we no think either, just do.
Kathryn: What would you do, Lu, if they are going to behead a Chinese?
Lu: We’ll send them Chinese fruitcake with bomb mix. If not good enough, we drop them a million mad Chinese women. Guaranteed to work or your money back.
Kathryn: What about all this religious doublespeak, Dr. Kisshanger?
Dr. Kisshanger: He or she, who is without sin, throw the first stone. That’s why Obama doesn’t want to make war. Jeremiah told him so.
Mars Man: Do you believe that, Lu?
Lu: Dr. Kisshanger is without sin, as he came to China first. We Chinese don’t know what sin means. We’re Confuciused. Shall we have a glass of rum punch?
Lu calls a waiter, who brings them four glasses of pink fluid on the ruble, with a slice of lemon, a straw, and loaded with rum.
Lu: Cheers! Let’s drink on peace the Chinese way.
Mars Man, sipping: What’s that, Lu?
Lu: In five years, China will be omni powerful, and everybody on Earth will speak, read and write Mandarin, starting at Kindergarten, and be happy. That will shut up the Islamic Radical Extremists, as we rightly call them. Next step will be Mars.
Mars Man: Don’t count on it, Lu. Your hieroglyphs aren’t working in space. You’ll be even more Confuciused and get stuck on the moon.
Kathryn: Okay, guys! I’ll get us some Dutch oil balls. I hear they are good over here.
Lu: Oil balls? Here? Can’t be. China has imported all the oil there is.
Kathryn: It’s balls of dough fried in cooking oil, Lu. Like your good fortune cookies, but without your pin strips of Chinese Confuciun.
Lu: I’ll come with you and then confiscate the oil.
Kathryn: You can’t because you’ll create war with the French part of the island. They bathe in cooking oil. See you later.