Peace of Mind


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Peace of mind is a dire good. It can disappear as quickly as it comes. One day your finance is great, the next day it may be ruined. One night your romance is indelible, the next morning it may be in smithereens. Why can peace of mind not last?  I am sure you remember when you enjoyed peace of mind and it suddenly collapsed into a nervous breakdown.

I remember whenever it did. It’s not just the occasional ups and downs. They cancel out when you have basic peace of mind. It’s the complete and often unexpected blow that shatters it to pieces. The loss of a dear friend, a parent, the pink slip in your job, a sudden incurable illness, the break-up of a marriage, an engagement, a love affair that offered hopes…so many things that harshly interfere with life.

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When everything goes fine, you think, gosh! I got it made! But at that realization, I usually get that weird sense that things are going too well for me. That creepy feeling that good things never last.

I remember each time when it hit. In my case, it was mostly broken love affairs. That could really bother me for a long time. Occasionally, job tensions as well. Some people are horrible to work with and you still have to get along, watching each moment you won’t get stabbed in the back. Technical problems can always be solved, but humans!

Discussion of three angry friends arguing in a coffee shop

How to get it back? I have tried everything, from praying to Prozac to Lorazepam, to swallowing tumblers full of scotch, to jumping in a cold lake. But that last idea would not work out so well. I was too good a swimmer.

capsulas medicas Carafe and glass of whisky, whiskey bourbon on a burlap, sacks background Walking to the abandoned house crossing the ocean

Once you acquire enough money and a stable marriage later in life, you seem to have reached that wonderful peace of mind. It takes a long time and a little bit of luck. Some never reach it and become desperate. If you do, seek some help wherever you can. And when you are asked to help, give it with both hands. A helping hand can do wonders. I have seen it several times: a wrecked life can be turned around.

In my last blog, I mused about how the writer’s point of view is molded by a world of seven billion different people. I don’t think a writer can write without peace of mind, at least I can’t. It is an individual’s asset, to be closely guarded.  If you have it, you are very rich. Money can make things easier, but without peace of mind, its value is pretty hollow. Peace of mind you cannot buy, or sell. Much of it depends on early decisions in life and the stamina you are gifted with to withstand obstruction, conflict or bad luck. Eventually, light shines at the end of the tunnel. I know it’s easy to say for me when you are in the dump, but it’s true: keep that in mind in your journey to reach peace of mind: it is there!

Dark Tunnel

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