The Legacy Craze

Mars Man


Mother Earth’s Weekly Squirms is showing on Mars TV. All Martians are tuned it.

Mars Man: Good morning, dear viewers. Many of you have sent in questions about why politicians on Mother Earth, such as Presidents, feel the need to leave a legacy and do whatever they can to create one. So we take on this subject this morning, as our panel is puzzled about this as well. Elmer, why don’t you start.

Elmer: Pure egotism. Be better than the next one and all former Presidents combined. Bargaining for a monument after death or even earlier.  Striving to be more than a footnote in history at the cost of the citizens.

Mars Man: That’s a sobering definition. Huda, your point of view?

Huda: If I were Obama of the USA, for example, I would have been content with being the first black president having united the races and steering his country through difficult times, and still leaving it better than when he took over. Instead, he made it worse because all his stellar falsehoods have flopped and racial tension has doubled. It’s only Michelle who left a doubtful legacy by removing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from the school lunch and replacing it with broccoli, making all kids raving mad.

Pasha: I also hear she now wants to get paid for being first lady because of all the shores she’s got to do, such as going on expensive vacations and flying on Air force One, telling her servants what to pack. Then all stay-home-spouses who do a lot more than she in much harsher circumstances, should be salaried. What about the military spouses? They make real sacrifices.

Talma: Take Putin. He destroyed the legacy of Gorbachev, who enabled democracy in Russia, and took it back to the Czars. He is still working hard on this legacy, and that is no less than murdering opposition, and grabbing more territory which was Russian before and that includes Alaska. He is already sending his bombers to look for a vacation property there with Sarah Palin’s grizzly bears as house pets.

Pasha: I love Hollande, that French president who makes children out of wedlock in what they call partnership in France. He said that every Frenchman should be equal, and that means brotherhood and liberty, and misery for all. All citizens with any monetary achievements are taxed to nothing to give to those who don’t work, and as a result many went elsewhere to survive, and the economy is in shatters.

Shamus: I agree it’s a lunacy. All these politicians want to shine in their craziness using other peoples money, that’s the tax payers’, and what they end up with is darkness, despair, and as Pasha correctly says, misery for all. I think our Martian army should go down there and put the Mullahs, Putin, Hollande and Obama all in the same room with only one toilet and a community shower, a fridge with American hotdogs, French brie, Middle-Eastern falafels and Russian Vodka, and no exit.

Huda: Yes, and that communist Raoul Castro may clean up at two cents salary a day which is the average paycheck in Cuba. Worse than Guantanamo. And nobody exits until each of them drops their legacy fallacies and signs declarations–and I mean verifiable declarations–that they leave their citizens and those of other nations alone, including Mars.

Mars Man: What about that lady Merkel of Germany? She seems to have a more realistic view on her goals. Shamus?

Shamus. I agree. But Germany has a parliamentary system and that makes the difference. In presidential systems, the President is elected nationally, and in a parliamentary system it is the party which wins the largest number of parliamentary seats that choses the prime minister. Often they have coalition governments constituted of several parties, so they must compromise. There the president has only a ceremonial role, like royalty in monarchies. But Presidents in a presidential system have substantial power and cannot be removed unless impeached.

Elmer: That still has limitations. President Clinton was but the Senate did not have enough votes to implement it. Prime Ministers are removed when parliament casts a vote of no confidence and new elections must be held. They say the parliamentary system is less stable but it also avoids having an unmovable president in power everybody loathes. So Prime Ministers focus on governance, while a president focuses on glory in the aftermath, with all the disastrous results heaping up, as is visible in the US and France on Mother Earth. Both presidents are socialists, by the way.

Pasha: But in the US governors can be recalled, like they tried with that Governor Scott Walker.

Elmer: State Constitutions are different from the Federal one. What is remarkable is that he succeeded twice to thwart his socialist opposition. But that does no make such a Governor, however desirable, elected on the national scale. The rules are different.  In my opinion, the US presidential elections have become far too skewed in favor of the dumb electorate choosing its leader because of the relaxed rules for voter eligibility. Nowadays, even an ass can vote.

Huda: An ass?

Elmer: I mean a donkey. And that is usually a democrat. Not to say that an ass and a donkey are not similar, or even identical.

Talma: Why do American Republicans have an elephant as a mascot?

Elmer: Because they think it makes them feel powerful, but their problem is they leave it often in the room and are too decent to throw the guy out and clean up the mess.  That annoys a lot of people and that’s why they don’t win.

Mars Man: so that means that the democrat presidential candidate Clinton is a donkey?

Pasha: It would be improper to call her an ass. I hear they can’t even call her the B-word, although it seems that her husband Bill always did in the White House when she threw plates, knives or lamps at him. I also heard that all that is on tape somewhere.

Shamus: She says it would be great to have a female president. But why? She is still a socialist, so she would bring in other socialists and continue the Obama administration. More ruin for America. American electorates don’t realize that being a first female or first black president does not necessarily bring in good governance, and socialists surely don’t.

Talma: Are they even sure on Mother Earth that she is a woman? She looks rather manly to me. I always wondered why that Bill cheated on her all the time wherever he went. Even in the White House. Maybe she did not feel like, permanent headache?

Mars Man: Huda, you are our expert on Mother Earth gender matters. Your thoughts?

Huda: I think she is a male. Or at least transgender. Something must have happened on the way. You can hear that the way she laughs. Ever heard her laugh? It’s indeed like an a…donkey, I mean. That’s why Bill could not get his satisfaction anymore. And she lies like Bill, and he is definitely a male because we know that from that blue dress. So yes, my conclusion is that she is a male, a transgender male. That’s why the democrat party is so much for sexual liberties.

Elmer: The American Founding Fathers could not foresee this in their time. This is what is wrong with the American Presidential system. The French system is better: national scrutiny and in case the candidate does not get the absolute majority of the votes, a run-off takes place. The good thing is that when that happens, the electorate may become sensible and vote for the right person a second time. Had the US had that in 2012, Romney might have won as those dumb Republican non-voters would  have gotten scared and gone to the voting boot. What a difference that would have made.

Pasha: what would Clinton like to be her legacies?

Elmer: So far, the old socialist stuff: supporting the middle class (who doesn’t), raising the minimum wage which only prevents youngsters from getting entry-jobs, supporting education including kindergarten (who doesn’t), the usual platitudes on immigration and foreign policy. Absolutely nothing on revamping the social divide Obama has created, or fighting religious persecution, and strengthening America.

Pasha: There is a theory going that candidate Clinton has passed the menopause and that she therefore would not have hot flushes anymore when she lies, and that being deprived of hormonal fluctuations  would make her a better President.

Mars Man: But Huda’s transgender theory makes that possibility moot.  It’s going to be interesting for us to watch. Just hope that for once good reason wins on Mother Earth and that means a thorough regime change in the USA. It would help Mother Earth from further decline.  That’s all the time we have, viewers! See you next time. Bye-bye!