On the


Mars TV on the Socialist Destruction of America

The green light flickered and our show “Mother Earth’s Weekly Squirms” was on. Our Mars TV panel, back from vacation, was complete.

“Dear panel,” I began, “the news from Mother Earth is increasingly bizarre. We see a near collapse of financial systems moving toward a deflationary spiral, sparks of another Middle East war, religious strife is booming and the Obama administration is still using Bush for all the ills that they created themselves. Shamus, can you explain?”

“The socialist nincompoops are outdoing themselves. They argue that Americans don’t want more of the eight Bush years but they do exactly the same, only ten times worse, using the financial crisis to their advantage. The USA has been on a slippery socialist slope since the Republicans dropped their Contract with America and the socialist elite used the vacuum to take over.”

“The Federal Reserve’s subsidizing the economy to fuel consumer spending and the Democratic expansion of the national debt have consistently undermined the free market for more than a decade,” Elmer added. “The Obama administration put the nail in the coffin by breaking the contract of trust between investors and manufacturing industries. Investors place money expecting a reasonable rate of return. When the Obama administration began nationalizing auto industries and didn’t pay them back, investor money dried up and no wonder the job market stalled.”

“You cannot run a socialist theology in a free market system,” Tamil pointed out. ”You need a tyrannical dictatorship based on fear and brute force. The Soviets eventually failed but only after seventy vicious years, and tens of millions tortured and death. Communist China, drawing the lesson, is using capitalist formats to feed its billions of people but is still a crude and dangerous dictatorship. The Obama socialists are trying to achieve the same, smartly using the democratic system with their combative rhetoric of class warfare and by deliberately destroying America’s free market to make everybody dependent on government to stay in power.”

“I agree,” Shamus said. “Obama and his radical associates are reforming America through misinforming the public and brainwashing its children, like Islamic madrassas, and although they are in a minority, their intellectual zeal has made substantial inroads. But America’s love for freedom is too ingrained in its society. The Obamas will eventually fail too, albeit after causing serious harm to the USA and the rest of the world that depends on its engine of growth, and it will take a decade or more to recover.”

“Should this concern us on Mars?” I asked

“To the contrary,” Elmer believed. “NASA won’t have money to send more spy monsters, Russia either, China isn’t there yet, and that will delay the moment Earth kids will come and stare at us through a glass wall like watching sea otters in Sea World.”

“It does concern our investments on Mother Earth, though,” Shamus said, gravely. “The Obama regime has set a deflationary spiral in motion and the first signs are already visible in their declining housing market and falling mortgage rates. Their stock market will collapse too. You can’t mess with the laws of economics and short selling politicians do it all the time. Glad our system doesn’t allow that here. And now it’s being done with a fascist agenda of statist control. It’s time to sell our assets. The longer we wait, the lesser we’ll get.”

“Pasha, any views?” I asked.

“I don’t understand why they let Lindsay Lohan out of prison after serving only two weeks out of six,” she said, shaking her head. “My viewers were stunned.”

I saw Elmer and Shamus exchanging quick looks of ridicule towards their female partner.

“And why Paris Hilton was let off for carrying cocaine,” Huda remarked, supporting Pasha. “Those are all signs of a declining society.”

“And why they encourage the demise of Christianity versus adoration of Islam. It’s religious Earth wars all over again,” Pasha said, noticing Elmer’s flickering eyes.

“Do you think Earth will ever stop this religious madness?” I asked.

“It won’t,” Elmer said. “The prophet Jesus taught tolerance and forgiveness, but the Jews killed him anyway. After that kings, emperors and popes abused Christianity for power and greed, till Luther put oil on the fire and religious wars between Catholics and Protestants bloodied the soil for centuries, not so long ago in Northern Ireland. Now Islam is battling Christianity, again.”

“The difference with Christ,” Tamil said, “is that the prophet Mohammed, who came six hundred years later, was a warrior and submitted peoples to Islam with the sword, preaching intolerance of other religions instead, and they swarmed the belly of Europe till the Christians defeated them in Spain in the Middle Ages. Now Islam, seeing a weakening Christianity, is reaching as far as New York.”

“Planning to build a huge mosque near the Holy Ground Zero,” Pasha scoffed, “and that mayor and B-Husain Obama allowing it in the name of religious tolerance that Islam doesn’t even recognize. Why not first a Christian church in Saudi-Arabia? And then the US State Department using taxpayer funding to send the Imam who’s behind that mosque to the Middle-East to discuss differences and securing at the same time money for his mosque. Political hypocrisy on Earth knows no boundaries.” 

“The secular socialist forces in Europe and America are purposely undermining Earth’s Christianity,” Huda opined, “but they’re giving Islam a pass because of its belligerent threats. It’s a cowardice that will destroy their culture. Islamic Sharia law has no place in Christianity and democracy, and denies women’s rights. Not surprising to see leaders like that Geert Wilders from tiny Holland fulminating against Europe’s islamization. He won many seats in their parliament because they’re really getting scared.”

“I understand that Mr. Wilders is coming to New York on September eleven to join and speak at a protest against that mosque,” I said. “Interesting development. But would the financial ruin of Mother Earth not have any impact on this?”

“Deflation may slow construction,” Shamus said, “but unemployed workers will get hired even if it’s against their beliefs. And as long as the USA sends oil money to Saudi Arabia that money will flow back into the mosque. ”   

“What would you advise the USA if you were in their shoes?” I asked.

“Voters who want freedom must take interest in the fate of their country and speak up,” Tamil said. “They say twenty percent are Obama socialists, forty percent are conservatives and the other forty is independent. That group voted for Obama’s change, not realizing that it meant the discomfiture of the USA as they knew it. If they don’t take their country back coming November and change sides in 2012, it’ll be stolen from them right under their nose, maybe for good.”

“But we know they have no charismatic leader to beat the pied piper!” Pasha exclaimed. “And no appealing theme to beat his socialist melodrama, no Contract with America. Only saying no to Obamacare and Michelle’s taxpayer veggie garden is not enough to explain your different philosophy.”

“The art is how to explain boring economics 101 in simple and clear terms,” Shamus said. “That defeats socialists outright. I remember Reagan could, with his “government is the problem”. Books won’t help. Paper commentaries won’t. Speeches by current leaders won’t. Someone strong must be found to energize the voters as the pied piper did, with the opposite vision of freedom and free enterprise.”

“That’s an issue we’ll take up with the viewers on Earth in our next panel meeting,” I said. “Thank you all for listening in.”


Mars TV on Obama’s Bankruptcy versus Bush Recession

Kathryn was back in her Omaha studio with her weekly panel on “How The World Turns” and we sat ready in our UCB studio in Mars City waiting for the connection. On my side were Elmer, Shamus, and Huda of UCB. Tamil and Pasha were on vacation. Our discussion was going to be taped for UCB’s popular show “Mother Earth’s Weekly Squirms.” The red light buzzed and the VC showed Kathryn with Fred, Tony, Charles and Bob as her regular panel members, and Pete and Sue as the representatives of Earth’s Unspoiled Youth having innocently but passionately voted for President Obama.

“Do you see and hear us right, Kathryn?”

“Beautiful and clear,” she responded.

“Same here,” I said. “Our panel on Mars is very keen on how Earth’s history is evolving and before we got connected voiced much concern about the growing divide in the USA. Do you think there is such a thing?”

“Very much a topic on the table here,” Kathryn said. “There are clear signs we’re going to have another civil war.”

“What makes you think that?” I asked, getting worried about my offspring on earth.

“One side says it wants to take their country back, and the other side is hanging on to it, busily changing, and both sides say they’re talking on behalf of the American People.”

“There must be something wrong with the math,” Shamus said, always making the mistake of thinking in terms of numbers.

“It’s much worse than that,” Fred said. “The current administration is stealing billions of dollars from the other side, so that they won’t have a dime left to work with if they ever come back.”

“No harm at all,” Bob said. “By that time the Government has all the money and nobody will be poor anymore, whatever side you’re on. That’s the beauty of socialism.”

“But who will make money to pay taxes for the Government?” Shamus asked, visibly intrigued by Bob’s visionary statement.

“Everybody will work for the Government and gets a salary minus their tax and national health premium,” Bob explained. “Enough left to buy your bread and butter and own an electric car. Everybody’s equal.”

“Will the other side of America be happy with that?” Elmer asked, looking at Shamus, his face showing bewilderment.

“The other side won’t have a vote anymore because the administration will change the Constitution locking them out, and it’s about time we put some order into this country,” Bob said, emphatically. “After all, we’re a democracy for all the American people, not just for one side. Elections do count.”

“Did you really vote for that?” Huda asked.

“No, we didn’t,” Tony thundered. “Except a few independent thinking journalists holding out large warning signs, nobody read the works of the sixties communist radicals or took Jeremy Wright at his word, and these are the people behind Obama’s change. Now these spooks are all over the government or disguised as Czars in the White House. That’s not the change America wanted.”

“Which America? It’s the Bush recession, stupid,” Bob countered.

“No, it’s the Obama bankruptcy, stupid,” Tony shot back.

“The Tea Party’s groundswell is a clear sign that the other side is alive and kicking,” Charles intervened. “It’s  a new phenomenon that didn’t exist in previous elections. It hates all politicians, especially those who say they know better than they. Mainstream America wants freedom and self-expression to invent and expand, not shared misery for all. You’ll see how big that side of America is in November 2010 and 2012.”

“On Mars we believe in the economic laws,” Shamus lectured. “Freedom and invention make a better world for all. Socialism means power grab of a few over all. You saw it on Earth in the Soviet Union. It’s unnatural because it kills all incentives except the one for absolute rule. I don’t understand why Earth would want to go back to a failed policy like that.

“I agree,” Fred said. “Come down and explain that to Obama and his socialist clique. They love aliens anyway.”

“You’ve to be a darned good talker to make anybody believe that,” Bob snickered. “As I said before, there’s nobody on your bloc that can.”

“That’s a point I feel most uncomfortable about,” Pete said. “We need someone who can mesmerize us the same way as the Pied Piper did.”

“I feel trapped too,” Sue admitted. “You guys talk a lot about what side knows better, but there isn’t anybody who’s convincing me. I’m scared to death about where Obama’s crowd is taking us. Your side may win a few seats in November as always happens midway a presidency, but if the Pied Piper tinges a notch to the center by 2012, he’ll walk away with us again like Clinton did in 96 and we’ll sink even deeper into the mud during the next four years.”

“For Reagan, it was his optimism of “Morning America” that brought the USA back to its feet after Carter,” Kathryn said, summarizing the decades. “Then came the short era of “Read my Lips” Bush 41, who only won the Gulf War; next Clinton, only remembered for lying that he didn’t have sex with that woman, followed by Bush 43 saying he’d serve the nation, not just one party, making everybody feel delusional. And what did we end up with: Obama who wants to change all that for grey matter, forever. That should make every American wake up in cold sweat. Give me Morning America. We need somebody like that.”

“Hear, hear,” Bob smirked. “You’re wearing nostalgia’s old hat. We need progress.”

“That’s exactly your problem,” Tony remarked. “Your progress isn’t progress, it’s stalemate that will kill us, either by a bomb that we can’t stop or bankruptcy that we can’t recover from, most likely both.”

“All right Tony,” Sue said, “but how are you going to prevent that for us poor kids?”

“Yes, good question,” Shamus said, coming out loud over the intercom, “we’d like to know that too.”

“Light the fire at the grassroots level that America’s burning like Rome in history or the Reichstag under Hitler,” Tony said. “Even school dropouts remember that. The more scared they get, the brighter their flames will show. People will rise against this socialist administration. It’s already happening.”

“That’s what I meant by civil war,” Kathryn moderated. “The two sides will meet on the Mall in DC and fight it out with megaphones, drowning each side with their soccer vuvuzelas and the loudest megaphone will win.”

“So far, the loudest megaphone is with Obama from the Rose Garden across the Mall and he knows it,” Bob said, still smirking. “You can’t convince by fear mongering alone. The American people are dead scared from the eight Bush years.”

“Of the eight Bush years, apart from the good tax cuts, Democrats resisted each economic move, including improving social security, had a majority in Congress for the last two years and that’s when the current mess started,” Fred deadpanned.

“Oh, well,” Bob said calmly, “nobody remembers that but they now feel the Bush recession.”

“I disagree,” Pete said, “what will hurt us kids much more is the oncoming tsunami of the Obama Bankruptcy. What you call the Bush recession could’ve been simply managed by reactivitating the business cycle. Any economics textbook will show you how. Reigniting optimism in the private sector by promising to keep taxes low, cut spending, and let bad apples sink.”

“That’s what we do, simple but powerful economics, no ideology,” Shamus interjected from Mars. “The private sector’s the engine of growth. Your administration did the opposite trying to prove their point and no wonder the economy’s failing.”

“The radical socialist authors of this administration use a crisis to the fullest to impose their philosophy,” Charles said, “it’s in their textbooks and thanks to their lucky majority they’re succeeding. Once everything grinds to a halt after they leave, if they ever do, there won’t be a business cycle anymore. It’s like a grasshopper’s hurricane. Americans will feel terribly deceived, especially when they realize that the grasshoppers have ruined everything for good and they have to start all over again.”

“To summarize, dear audience on Earth and on Mars,” Kathryn said, “what seems needed here is some honest and  strong economic talk, no ideology and wrapping bad bills in fancy names to mislead the populace. And because that’s not happening, I predict the populace will rise to save the USA. And with that we’ve come to the end of today’s show. See you next time. Wish you the best on Mars.”

“Thanks Kathryn, great discussion, ” I said. “Next time we’ll let you know Mars’s views on all this.”


Mars Man’s Siblings Are Getting Scared Too


Kathryn clicked the red button on the polyphone.

“Are we connected? “ she asked.

“Yes, we are,” I responded from the studio in Mars City. “You are being taped on the UCB Political Round Table program. Go ahead.”

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, both on Earth and on Mars. Welcome to the show. With me are a few distinguished friends in-the-know, “ Kathryn announced, “Fred Garfinkel, Tony Blanket, Charles Hammerschmidt and Bob Foolsman, for our weakly discussion on “Where the World Turns”. Pete and Sue joined to represent the ebullient youth that voted for Obama. Fred, let me ask you first, how‘s the USA fairing?”

“We’ve veered into the most disastrous phase the USA has ever experienced,” Fred said, worried.” I thought FDR was bad, but this time the liberal left has really outdone itself.”

“You mean it can’t be repaired?” Kathryn asked.

“It would take a conservative landslide in November and again in 2012, similar to the one on the Dems side in 2008, and I don’t see that happening because Republicans, including conservatives, are too divided and don’t have a leader.”

“Tony, your views?” Kathryn asked.

“Fred’s pessimistic for the right reasons,” Tony admitted. “The center and center-right are divided and have no articulate theme to defeat the good-doers on the left. But there’re some cracks appearing on the Dems side too, which gives me hope.”

“You on the right side forget that you’re fighting the change for a better America that everybody wanted,” Bob intervened. “There’s no right slogan that can beat that populist goal. The present administration is undoing all the harm that the Reagan and Bush eras committed, even with an occasional democratic majority in Congress at the time. Thank God we have a leader who’s resetting the buttons and does it right.”

“But he’s emptying my future wallet,” Pete protested.

“You’ll have plenty left to buy your hamburger and a cracker for your siblings,” Bob retorted. “And paying higher taxes is a patriotic act.”

“But hamburgers are bad for my health and my kids can’t live on crackers either,” Pete countered.

“You’ll have an excellent new healthcare system if you get sick. Thanks to our great leader. He eats hamburgers himself when he escapes Michelle’s kitchen, so why do you worry.”

“I agree with Fred’s assessment,” Charles said. “The leftist Democratic juggernaut is taking us to eternal dependency in a bankrupt USA, and there’s nothing we can do. They pushed through the stimulus, then the health care and then the financial reforms, and it was all written by leftist lawyers and lobbyists with tons of regulations still to write. What a feat for our great democracy in just 500 days. Don’t write them off for 2012 either.”

“Where do these people come from?” Sue asked. “Leftist minds from Harvard, Yale and Berkeley?”

“You wonder about their mindset,” Tony said. “The reason is that the USA was never run over by Nazis or Soviets, let alone the Chinese. It came close enough with 9/11 but that cost three thousand lives and a ruined economy, but no foreign management over the floor. Look how soon the populace forgot. Leftists have a knack for exploiting people’s lack of insight, hindsight and foresight.”

“But Europeans were run over by Nazis and Communists and still turned socialist,” Sue exploded, “so how do you explain that?”

“It’s much easier to persuade the populace with utopian ideas that sound good but turn out bad later, than teaching them economics about how to run the place efficiently, which is boring,” Fred explained. “Reagan had the ability to communicate that in simple terms, and even he was attacked from left and right.”

“So this is the end of the good old USA, if that’s what you mean,” Kathryn concluded, showing her somber mood.

“No, to the contrary,” Bob said, showing optimism.” State it the other way, glass half full. Finally, the good old USA is becoming a valid member of world society, adopting the rules of the good for all, and discarding its rules of the good for just a few.”

“That’s total hogwash, Bob, and you know it,” Fred blasted. “It was those few good men who made this USA into what we are today. They pursued an ideal, not ideology. They clamped together to achieve progress and did. All you guys want is to distribute the wealth that you can’t create to those who don’t and sit with their fat potbellies in front of their TV. If we’d left it to your so-called good-doers, we would’ve ended up in shared misery and that’s where we’re heading now. Don’t look too far for good examples.”

“But the economy is picking up again thanks to the Government’s measures,” Bob continued, as if stone deaf.

“The economy always does after the down turn in an eight years business cycle, Mr. Foolsman,” Pete noted coolly. “Page 239 of Paul Samuelson’s Economics, if you care to read.”

“Dead right Pete,” Tony buttet in.  And turning to Bob, he continued “I hear you guys saying you don’t want to go back to the eight years policies of the Bush Administration. It so happened that they started with a downturn earned from Clinton, got 9/11 and then Katrina, and after eight years ended with a bigger one, after the socialists had opened the floodgates for cheap housing through Freddie Mac and Fanny May. So you earned the mess you created yourself and made it three times worse in just 18 months. The point Fred’s making is that it would have been a lot better if the Government had left the business cycle alone instead of plastering it with socialist rubbish.”

“What’s the panel’s view up there, Mars?” Kathryn asked, afraid that her panel was going to murder Bob.

“We’ve been talking while listening,” I said. “The only thing that can save you is a national groundswell of tsunami proportions sweeping those people out of power, repeal what they did, and keep them out forever, now that you know who and what they are. Then start over again and keep a tight lid on it.”

“And how do you think you will do that with a leader who is still more popular than any of your current straw men?” Bob asked, unable to hide his sarcasm.

“That tea party movement is growing fast and includes people from both sides of the aisle and lots of independents,” Fred said. “And recently elected Republican Governors are turning their debt ridden states towards solvency again. Those are looking like good examples what the right can do.”

“Maybe so, but translating that on a national scale is not sustainable without a strong leader and there’s no one on the bloc so far,” Bob smirked.

“Bob has a point,” Charles said. “As long as the right keeps bickering among themselves, saying that Palin is too light, Romney a Mormon, McCain washed out, Gingrich old hat, and so on, the Pied Piper will holler on in 2012. So far, nobody has seen what the Contract from America is about. And when Gingrich articulated and won with his Contract for America in 1994, the Right dropped the ball a few years later under Clinton and again under Bush. So the history isn’t good.”

“Meaning we only have ourselves to blame,” Kathryn opined.

“No, that’s not it! America wanted change,” Bob argued, emphasizing the word and pounding on the table. “It had enough of the past. People change, so did the USA. It has changed for good, there’s no return.”

“I voted for the change,” Pete said, regretfully, “and so did many of my friends. We  were all mesmerized by the Pied Piper. But we never realized that the change would be this mess. I’m getting scared for my future.”

“So did I,” Sue confessed. “In spite of Mars Man’s warnings. I’m getting scared too. You’ll be long death, Mr. Foolsman, when I’m having to pay the bills.”

“Well, Mars Man, any advice up there for the Earth family?”

“Our consensus here is that you must elect a team of good business people who know how to run a big corporation and turn it over, somebody who knows how to explain and sell this politically, and who can talk the Pied Piper off the table with clear facts and economic wisdom, and pull down the curtain on utopia. That’s a tall order. We hope that person will come through the ranks soon. Mars wants a strong and healthy USA. You must stand behind that leader, stop internal bickering, and start now with formulating your agenda clearly. Advocate your Contract from America.  Every time the other side comes back to denigrate it, fight back with a megaphone, if you want to win. Don’t leave no stone unturned.”

“But that’s how Obama won,” Bob said, smiling.

“ Good point again Bob, but that was before he did what he did,” Charles said. “The spell only works once. Now it’s exposed.”

“Thank you all for a lively discussion,” Kathryn ended, hoping they wouldn’t pulverize Bob. “Till next week’s Round Table.”


Back on Mars

Dearest Kathy, Pete and Sue, here follows my weekly e-mail.

I got back safely. On my way up, I saw Odyssey and Orbiter still spying on Mars. To tell the truth, we don’t mind Earth looking at us as we do the same with Earth. As you remember from the wonderful sky above Bob’s ethanol field, our UFOs have been perfected off late. But we’re a bit wary of these Mars Landers Earth sends over, because they look like these unfriendly giant spiders that roam Mars’s Rocky Mountains. Fortunately, we have our ways to protect our existence and succeed in persuading these crafts to become (legal!) Mars residents and stop sending their messages back to Earth. NASA calls that the Great Galactic Ghoul that feeds on Martian spacecraft. Well, we don’t eat them as we have better ways to feed ourselves. What they don’t understand is that we turn them into machines for our own space reconnaissance and perfect them along the way. Willing collaborators to visit our moons, Phobos and Deimos, and sister planet Venus. Regretfully, from my talks on Earth it appears some remain keen on pursuing their mission to invade us. So we shall have to keep an eye on more of these flying objects spewing to Mars, despite NASA’s recent transformation into a multicultural education department.

I landed on one of our main launching pads in what they call on Earth our Valles Marineris, where most of us live. As I told you, contrary to Earth’s findings so far, it’s quite a livable place. They immediately asked me for a TV meet to discuss my latest findings as they’re all very curious about what’s cooking on Earth.

You as family know we have different ways to indentify ourselves here, but for others listening in I shall use Earthly names for the panel that interviewed me last night: Tamil, Elmer, Shamus, Pasha, and Huda. They are all part of UCB (Universe Communications Broadband), our main TV station and wanted to know everything I did during my stay.

“Any progress?” Tamil was the first to ask.

“To the contrary, regression all over,” I told him, and he looked relieved. “But in the West the genders are merging.”

“How’s that?” Huda was always keen to hear about women on Earth. “Are they becoming like us?”

“More and more,” I confirmed. “More men are wearing skirts – and I’m not talking about Scottish pipers –and more women are wearing pants. They almost look each other’s mirrors now. The only difference is that women still have boobs but they’re getting flatter. Even their voices are beginning to sound similar.”

“Do they still do it?” Pasha had a penchant for sexual relationships, and anchors a TV show and writes books about it on Mars.

“Women prefer to go to the sperm bank,” I revealed, reluctantly. “They aim for a national sperm bank system with a Federal Reserve to regulate quality and equitable access at low rates.”

“What do men do, then?” Elmer asked, glancing at Pasha and looking embarrassed.

“Apart from delivering at the sperm bank, they marry each other.”

“But that’s weird,” Elmer gasped. “There must be something wrong with their brains.”

“Everybody says that, but so far their authorities haven’t made it a priority research item yet.”

“You said regression, what do you mean by that?” Tamil brought the interview back to the basics.

“The USA is moving to failed communist systems. Unbelievable but true. Europe is already seriously suffering from them and has lost steam as a result. The Middle-East shoots everyone who doesn’t live like before the Middle Ages and spurns women. That makes one hundred percent of their populations unproductive. China is hellbent on becoming number one and working hard on their own path to Mars, but its brutal statist regime has too many people to feed. South-Asia has the same problem and is facing fundamentalist wars. Then there is that old flame of Earth history, you know Persia what they now call Iran. Those pashas think they are Alexander the Great number Two. What can I tell you…Everybody fights each other. There’s no enlightened vision, no unity, no spirited leadership down there, except old mullahs yelling in megaphones.”

Tamil seemed to relax. “Good for us, no prospects for new Rovers.”

“But do we put money on Earth?” Shamus asked. He handles USB’s space-wide investments.

“Only in gold if you need to, but you have enough of that here. USA and Europe keep spending more than they earn. Their moneys are going down and they can’t keep printing it at the rate they do. At some stage it must collapse. Especially if their banker China calls in its loans and invades Taiwan.”

“What about us colonizing Earth, rather than them colonizing us?”

“Interesting question, but I wouldn’t put my money in it.”

“We know you have siblings on Earth. How do they feel?” Pasha asked.

“Kathryn runs a bank but sits on the money and doesn’t lend, afraid they won’t pay back, and she hates bailouts in exchange for government regulators on her Board. Pete and Sue have good paying jobs, but many of their friends don’t. When they ask their Government why, it says it’s the other party’s fault and will always be.”

“Don’t they complain in the press, then?”

“The main press in the USA is in the tank with the socialist Government. They are utterly silent on the same things they were raising hell over under the previous administration. Double standard to perfection.”

“How did this all happen?” Elmer asked.

“I think it’s a mixture of things. You know about Earth’s nine-eleven. That changed everything. People lost direction. Many lost their mind and never found it back. The worst for Earth is that the great USA elected a bunch of leftist nincompoops and has lost its grip on world events. They can’t even handle their own border security.”


“Well, that’s an Earth term for ignoramuses.”

“We don’t know what that means either,” Elmer said, laughing.

“Bum heads, my son’s definition, will that do?”

“So, if I may conclude, “Tamil said, “everything is quiet for us on the West-front?”

“For now yes, but the danger is that you may see slanted eyes landing here first, looking like us…”.

“What about these women,” Huda asked quickly, to get a last question in.

“They’re taking over,” I said. ”You see it everywhere in the USA. More women than men in universities. More and more women making it to CEO. They are flying airplanes and space shuttles. A whole new group of angry women is entering politics and beating male candidates. Granted, Earth men have made a mess everywhere you go and have done so for millennia. The Middle East is a point in case. So are Africa, South-Asia and the Far-East. And presently the USA isn’t any better. Women are coming to power. Matriarchal management is on the rise. Maybe that’s Earth’s best hope.“

“But would they come here to disturb our homogeneous society?” Pasha wondered.

“By the time they come, they will have fully merged into one gender, like us, with just one minor difference for the purpose of procreation.  They can’t stay here for physical reasons, and must go back to their sperm bank, otherwise they die.”

“Earth sperm banks may be a good investment, then,” Shamus inferred.

“And we can be assured that we won’t be bothered,” Pasha ended happily. “Long live Mars.”

“Our time’s up,” Tamil announced, looking satisfied. “Thank you, Mars Man,  for this informative interview and please come back next time.”

That’s the news from Mars, dear all. I’ve to water my plants. Till my next e-mail. Stay well.

Mars Man


Mars Man’s July 4th

After a week of hectic talks and money matters, it was time to pack up again. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving Kathryn, Sue and Pete behind in this current mess that the USA got itself into. Friends in Nebraska fully agreed. Law abiding and straightforward, nature lovers and good farmers, moneymakers (Warren Buffet lives there) and smart insurers in the Heartland don’t like the freewheeling spend and tax freaks of East and West. They all said that their current administration was a train wreck in the making and were looking forward to changing the dynamics in November real fast.  

We attended a selective July 4th grill party on a wide terrace with friends at a corn and ethanol estate where I had parked my space scooter. From a far, fireworks lit up the red glowing evening sky in an eternal widescreen of Technicolor along the horizon. We even  saw some UFOs looking on.

“You live well here,” Kathryn said to the host, whose real name is withheld for security reasons and whom I’ll call Bob for the occasion. “You’ve mastered the art of making money and keeping it.”

“We’re grateful for what we got, Kathryn,” Bob said. “Through hard work the old American way. We don’t mind paying taxes on the condition it’s not wasted for political ends. That’s why our Democratic Senator got in hot water here with that one hundred million taxpayer money bribe he took to get him to vote for that stupid health care law.”

“I heard that Mr. President plans to make a recess appointment of some guy nobody trusts to head the Medicare system, “Pete tuned in.

“Nobody wanted a confirmation hearing,” Bob said. “Democrats didn’t because they hated to reopen the healthcare debate, which is a loser for them, and Republicans considered the guy rightly a leftwing bum and unworthy of confirmation. So the Administration was afraid he wouldn’t make it and delayed till everyone went on their July 4th vacation.”

“Bush did that too,” Pete mumbled dryly. “Remember Bolton at the UN?”

“Bolton proved the only one whom they were scared of at the UN because he saw right through their funny tricks and said so. He is still head-on on geopolitics. But this new fellow at Medicare is a so-called honorary Harvard professor. He likes the flailing British health care system and wants to copy it.”

“I fail to see why they like to repeat these socialist things here that don’t work elsewhere,” Sue said, munching on grilled rib, rolling her deep blue slanted eyes.

“Hubris,” Bob said, taking a rib himself. “Absolute hubris. The present group that came to power – and God forbid it won’t be too long – really believes they know better and that it’s only a matter of doing it right. Of course, the other fools elsewhere in the world believed that too. That’s why they are being voted out in Europe.”

“But I can go on vacation to Paris again,” Sue said, grinning broadly. “The whole fiscal turmoil over there lifted the dollar from its morass.”

“Better grab it while you can, my girl,” Bob said wryly. “It will soon be worse here than in Europe and then your beloved green buck will be back in the doldrums.”

“Wall Street’s hoping for total gridlock in Congress come November,” I said, “so that the highfalutin thinkers in Washington can’t get anything done. That’s the only way to save America.”

“Lawmakers don’t understand economics,” Sue intoned and, as a lawyer, she knew. “Laws are written and applied, even when they are wrong. The laws of economics are hidden and only appear in textbooks they haven’t read, like their bills. If you don’t apply them you see them when it’s too late.”

“Let’s hope for gridlock,” Pete prayed.” It looks Wall Street is already betting on it because the stock market’ s back in the ten thousands. They expect that the overreaching financial law the House democrats approved will hit dirt in the Senate and not make it.”

“For the last few years I’ve kept my money in cash and gold and am not buying stocks right now,” Bob said. “It worked out well so far. I don’t see any improvements in the fundamentals.”

I didn’t tell him we were hoarding gold on Mars, too.

“I still keep my faith in the unrivaled American dream,” I said, “and that its independent forces will toss out the current keepers to revive the spirit of its Founders. I just have to, for the sake of Pete and Sue.”

“At least we’ve clearly identified who and what these keepers are,” Kathryn said, “so that we won’t elect them again.”

* * *

It was time for me to go. Bob drove us in his open Jeep to my improvised landing and launching site. After saying farewell to Kathryn, the siblings and Bob, I changed into my space suit and entered my space scooter.

“Don’t let them waste my tax dollars, Sue!”

I waved, closed the cabin, and was off back to Mars, my tank full with borrowed ethanol.

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