Where is James?

I want James.

James? Where are you?

James, please make up my bed.

James, have my breakfast and coffee ready at eight. Don’t forget to pick up the paper from the front door.

James, clean my wife’s bedroom, PLEASE! And bring her a cappuccino, a fried egg, a toasted buttered muffin, and don’t forget to sprinkle it with bacon crusts and paprika.

James, drive my car out of the garage and wash it. I have to go out.

Here’s the shopping list for today, James. Make sure you cross out evrything to make sure you didn’t forget anything.

Drive me to my lunch date, James, at noon sharp, and pick me up at two.

James, please light the fire at four. Get some fresh wood from the shed.

James, why is my tea not ready yet? Don’t we have marmalade in the house? Don’t you know I always want marmalade on my crackers?

James, please bring me my sherry at five, and a plate of Swiss macaroons. Some salmon mousse on those little toasts, too, please. Thanks.

James, when is dinner served? What did Missus order? Steak, pork or what? I hope you didn’t do those awful Brussels sprouts again?

James, where’s my evening gown? Didn’t you get it back from the cleaners? I was so mad when I messed it up with my brandy last night.

James, Mr. and Mrs. Vanderpoorten are coming for dinner tomorrow. Is everything on schedule? Table silver polished? Candles set?

Anything more of your service, Mr. John?

Thank you James. Did you bring Missus her bedtime tea?

Goodnight James.

Next morning.

James, where are you?