MARS TV – LEFT IS LEFT AND RIGHT IS RIGHT AND NEVER THE TWAIN SHALL MEET


The red light flickered in our Mars City Universe Broadcasting Studio: Kathryn signaled she was ready in her Omaha Nebraska Studio. I pushed the polyphone button. “Hello Kathryn, do you see and hear us clear?”

“Hi Mars, fine and beautiful,” she said, cheerfully.

“OK, let’s get started. You are on at Mars TV.”

“Dear viewers on Mars and Earth,” Kathryn began, “You are connected with our Round Table show on Earth “How the World Turns”. With me from my right are: Fred Garfinkel, Tony Blanket, Charles Hammerschmidt and Bob Foolsman.”

“And you, welcome to our Mars show “Mother Earth’s Weekly Squirms”, I responded. “With me from my right are our distinguished panel Pasha, Elmer, Huda, Tamil, and Shamus. We thought it fun to have a combined Earth and Mars panel after the USA mid-term elections and the subsequent fall out. Kathryn, why don’t you go ahead. We’ll chime in from time to time.”

“Thank you Mars! Let’s see…Bob, you may want to speak first. You must feel shellacked after the overwhelming defeat of the Democrats. For our friends on Mars, shellacked means a knockout. That’s what Barack Obama called it, he should know.”

“Granted, there was a swing to the right,” Bob Foolsman admitted, “but these swings in favor of the opposition often happen in mid-term elections. It doesn’t mean much, they didn’t get the Senate. It doesn’t hand power to the Republican Party. Obama can continue his truthful ideology governing by executive order. He doesn’t need Congress to pursue his agenda.

“Isn’t that the same as what dictators do?” asked Huda.

“We have different views on democracy than you on Mars,” Bob retorted. “Our side of the aisle knows what is good for the world, while the other side doesn’t. It’s our moral duty to apply that. Our Constitution provides for that.”

“Bunk!” Fred Garfinkel cried out. “I haven’t heard bigger rubbish before. If that’s your party’s thinking, your master will be thrown out of the pew hand and fist come 2012!”

“He doesn’t go to church, Fred,” Bob clarified. “Meanwhile, with his agenda to transform America completed in two years, he won’t need a second term and the right wing will never have the votes to repeal anything after that.”

“Wouldn’t your side have to compromise now that you are in the minority?” Elmer asked.

“We have offered compromises since we took over the Republican mess in 2009,” Bob continued undisturbed, “but the other side wasn’t listening, as it was drinking slurpee all the time.”

“Slurpee is a popular convenience store soft drink here on Earth,” Kathryn explained. “Tony, what are your expectations?”

“I agree with Bob, this President is drenched in an ideology of pure socialism he won’t or can’t change just because most of the electorate rejected it. The Republican majority in the house is going to be a paper tiger because the President will veto anything that repeals his policies, that is, if their bills get past the Senate, which is still in the Democrats’ hands. For the rest I fear he will indeed use executive orders, drafted by his conglomerate of leftist Czars, to pursue his faulty objectives.”

“Your economy is not improving,” Shamus interjected, “your unemployment remains high and your Central Bank is amplifying the money market lowering the dollar and risking inflation. Other countries such as Germany, the UK and France are protesting because it’s affecting their exports, destabilizes the financial markets, and increases the cost of commodities, especially oil, while their Euro is in tatters. This doesn’t sound good economic policy to us.”

“What would you do on Mars in a situation like that?” Kathryn asked.

“Don’t mess with the economic laws,” Shamus answered. “I’ve said that before. It’s bound to hurt you. Your President said the other day that there wasn’t enough progress yet because the economy wasn’t doing what he told it to do. As if he’s never heard of Economics 101. Give him a copy of Paul Samuelsson’s Economics for Christmas.”

“And that includes messing with the tax rate,” Charles Hammerschmidt joined in. “Nobody wants additional taxes sucking the juice out of his or her Thanksgiving turkey or Christmas goose. As long as entrepreneurs are deprived of any certainty they can make a buck over the next five years, they’re not going to risk their money, just to give it to Uncle Obama to spread the wealth around. So unemployment will stay high.”

“All that’s of no consequence,” Bob Foolsman came back. “State intervention will grow rapidly to manage resources and increase dependency. Workers will work for the State, as has already started in the auto industry. The auto union workers are the big winners in General Motor’s recovery and that won’t go unnoticed. Bill Clinton once said that the era of big government was over, then he and Republicans proceeded to do just the opposite, and President Obama will push this further because he knows what he’s doing and the populace will be so grateful to him when he succeeds. The era of big government is just beginning. Government will take possession of the means of production.”

“That’s a preposterous point of view, “Fred Garfinkel said loudly. “A government is not like an investor, who risks his own money to make a return, but a public entity that uses taxpayer money, which isn’t theirs. If a government enterprise loses money, which they always do as has been proved worldwide, the taxpayer pays. If by chance the enterprise makes money or breaks even, the government doesn’t reinvest the revenue but spends it on ill-suited entitlement programs, such as unemployment benefits for the workers in the other losing state enterprises that weren’t to be anyway. Soon everything will look grey and dirty as everybody goes broke. Remember Eastern Europe?”

“The State has to look out for the little guy,” Bob sputtered.

“Two to one of your little guys reject Obamacare,” Fred noted coolly.

“As Obama said, that also means that one out of two is for it,” Bob deadpanned back.

“I can’t escape the impression that Earth is heading for very difficult times,” I said. “Europe has its PIGS that are crying for bail-outs, China is playing cat and mouse with keeping its currency artificially low while buying up US Treasuries to gain increasing power over your head, and the USA is heading for economic collapse because its public debt will soon be larger than what it produces.”

“The next two years are going to be crucial,” Charles said. “Either the side that wants smaller government, less taxes and strong defense manages to cut spending, reduce debt and restore confidence of the private sector, or the other side that wants big government and central control manages to maintain the current course of action and takes the country down the cliff. To me, it’s obvious that the latter leads to loss of freedom and our way of life. The battle will be fought till the election of a new President. If the current administration is re-elected, you can say goodbye to the USA as we know it.”

“And that includes your Thanksgiving turkey and Christmas goose,” Fred said, sarcasm dripping off his face.

“Didn’t Adam Smith say that admiring and worshiping the rich and powerful is the most universal cause of corruption of our moral sentiments?” Bob put forward. “When everyone earns the same, our communal life will be happier and deprived of jealousy and greed.”

“That’s not all what your Adam Smith stood for, ” Tamil said. “As I understand it, he proffered individual freedom to pursue personal interest and private people working cooperatively together to achieve the wealth of nations, whereby the government would be discharged from interference. He warned against government supported monopolies that create the type of bubbles that ruined your financial system.”

“Indeed, Tamil,” Tony Blanket said. “You’re so right! Adam Smith warned against the dangers of big government and crony capitalism and advocated the need to rein in both. He supported human liberty and free markets to move the world forward, and is probably turning in his grave seeing what’s happening here today. Wrong point, Bob.”

“We on Mars can’t see much agreement between Earth’s left and right,” Pasha said. “Both sides seem incapable to meet each other half way. Half a goose is better than no goose at all. Maybe Michelle Obama should invite both sides to eat from her vegetable garden.”

“That would lead to instant and painful indigestion,” Charles said with a cramped face. “Even Obama does not eat from that.”

“Personally, I don’t want to lose my Omaha steak,” Kathryn said. “With Obama’s fiscal mismanagement and the Central Bank’s risky money management, I’m afraid that steak will cost me 100 dollars per pound in a few years. In my assessment, the electorate said no to an overbearing government and its suffocating grip on an innovative society that knows full well how to take care of itself.”

“That so-called innovative society of yours wouldn’t have achieved a stimulus package that saved the economy, a national health care law that brought in 30 million new uninsured and a financial reform package that put our ruined financial system straight,” Bob said, “and all that in eighteen months.”

“Those are doomed policies and you know it,” Fred said, swaying his arm, “and they were only possible because in 2008 the pendulum swung too far to the left. “

“Right,” Tony said. “Obama operated in a virtual dictatorship with the Democrat absolute majority led by that catty Pelosi and slimy hypocrite Reid. It’ll all be repealed in the next round of conservative rule. Look at Europe, they are all coming back from it after learning their bitter lessons, and here the socialist liberal progressives are bent to ignore that at their own peril.”

“Can you explain for our Mars viewers what these terms mean?” Huda asked.

“In the USA, it all means the same, you can interchange each term,” Tony explained, smiling. “Contrary to what a liberal meant in old Europe, a defender of freedom, capitalism, and fair trade, the term evolved into a new social liberalism advocating a greater role of the State. Today, a liberal is a socialist here. Progressive is a term to hide its true meaning, which is still your same friendly statist socialist but like a sheep in wolf’s clothes. So throwing them all together in one basket puts them in the right light, pun not intended.”

“And so are conservatives, neocons, reactionaries and right wingers, all in the same boat,” Bob Foolsman parotted.

“The difference is that left wingers always call people names when they disagree with them,“ Charles said. “Conservatives are intolerant bigots, racists, phonies, Nazis, Talibans running a Christian jihad, yokels, morons, peanut heads, and monkey brains. That just shows you how intolerant socialists are. I’d lump the left wingers all into one category and that’s blockheads, because they can’t think logically.”

“It sounds as if civil war is on the horizon,” Elmer said, “something we can’t figure here on Mars. If the current American administration will continue to ram their socialist policies past the throats of unwilling conservatives, as they did with your health care bill, they will turn your tea party movement into a mob of pitch forks and torches rising to do battle and their scorn will be felt all over Earth.”

“It’s been an interesting discussion but without much conclusion,” I said, looking at my watch, “you seem bitterly divided on Earth with hot spots all over the place. I wish we could bring you our peace from Mars, but you’d probably call that an alien invasion and send missiles into space.”

“Yes, Mars Man, I agree,” Kathryn said, “and a diligent way to end. A few seconds left. By the way, Mars, next time when you leave from here, check your engines, because the whole USA was worrying what flying object was taking off over the California coast, heading up, leaving a thick plume of dark dirty smoke behind. Everybody was talking of a misfiring UFO, and agitated bearded Californian environmentalists protested at the Governor’s house.”

I laughed.

“Apologies, Earth. Bob Falkland in Nebraska must have given me a bad lot of cheap government controlled ethanol. Blame him. To our viewers on Earth and Mars, thank you for watching and make sure to come back next time. Good bye Kathryn.”

“Good bye Mars, till soon,” Kathryn waved. “Don’t forget to bring some old Martian rum with you when you come down again.”

+ There are no comments

Add yours

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.