Mars Man is back from a long universe mission and the Mars-Earth Weekly Squirms show is back on. The two panels, of Mars City TV and Omaha TV are connected.
Kathryn is opening: Mars Man, tell us what you saw on Mother Earth from Outer Space.
Mars Man: Great to see you back! The picture is bleak. China is building a fishing port in the middle of the ocean against the warnings of the American Environmental Protection Agency that it would destroy rare fish species and increase sea pollution.
Obama has sent a protest that this is against international law, but the Chinese have replied that the only international law they know is Chinese law because they have more people than the rest of the world combined. Besides, international law is made by the colonial powers and the Chinese only recognize that to the end it serves their own purpose. Lastly, Chinese know better because they are confuciused, and they know how to fish in muddled water.
Second, there are some fifty grey Republicans running for President and only one and a half Democrats, with Hillary e-mailing secret messages from her private basement server and meanwhile just biking along waving at the stupid crowd.
Thirdly, Europe is in decline – as is America – but Europe is going on a two-months paid vacation. To them it is paradise regained while everything around them is crumbling down.
Fourthly, Arabia is burning and heads are rolling, kids heads are staked on poles, women raped or enslaved, and nobody gives a damn. For Obama it is their problem. The old Shiite versus Sunni. Like your Protestants versus the Catholics burning each other on stakes. Obama seems to support the Shiites because he is negotiating with them. He led them into Iraq by withdrawing the troops. So the Sunnis felt betrayed and shot back with ISIS. All so predictable, but who cares in your White House or on the Dumb Electorate Street?
Fiftly, Iranian mullahs are building the bomb because Israel has it already, still saying it wants to drive the Jew State into the sea and wipe it off the earth. Not realizing that if they do, Teheran will be gone at the same time and Palestine and Hezbollah will be dead too.
Finally, Putin is back naked on his horse, throwing firebombs at Ukraine and shooting an airliner down. And that makes him popular at home. Good grief! Mother Earth is a mess and nobody cares.
Kathryn: We have great news here, though. You know Donald Trump, known as The Donald, has put himself up for the US Presidency. He has huge business experience, built a massive empire and lives in his own tower.
Obama will say he did not build that, and that he and his government did it. But we know that the Pres has gone insane for some time already because of Michelle’s kitchen. Charles Hammerschmidt, your views.
Charles: Donald Trump is not a politician, and we in the media only deal with politicians, so I am not going to comment on his running for President because we media people are politicians too. We need a good politician in the White House, but any fool can run for President. We had Perot, we might as well have Trump, only that because Perot took his votes away from Father Bush, brave Father lost to womanizer Clinton. The Dumb Electorate. We will just make a ton of money out of talking about a rich man trying to get votes from the majority poor that got even poorer under Obama. The Donald will never be elected.
Huda Seksibombah: Sorry but I disagree. He has very sexy hair and even allows nice girls like me pulling at it to see if it is real. And he knows how to employ your people and your President only lays them off.
Pasha: He would be great with Carly Fiorina, sounds like you will be going to the Opera. Finally a non-politician team. Look forward to that. And she is a feminist but not a femenazi.
What with a good women’s fight on TV? Carly Fiorina pulling Hillary out of the driver’s seat?
Fred Garfinkel: Four more years of US Liberalism would be the final nail in the American coffin. Eighteen trillion debt and growing at 3 billion a day. The Office of Budget Management says in a few years that will be unrecoverable. Sixty years of Democrat majority have destroyed the USA. All because the Dumb Electorate wants more government money while looking at Sports TV or playing video games and getting Fs in school. China will take over without a shot. All that is Obama’s legacy. He added more debt than everybody else combined. For him, nothing is left but to raise the white flag. Oh, those intelligent voters.
Elmer: Your Trump can pay off two years from his own money alone. As he says, bring American manufacturing back home, keep the illegals from coming in, rebuild military strength your Obama has depleted, reduce the debt by increasing national economic growth, spur energy development instead of stifling it and stop being bullied around. That’s what we on Mars would do. It all sounds like your old President Carter, only a lot worse.
Bob Demmofool: Do you really think that after all what the left has won these years they will give it away without a fight?
Elmer: From our vantage point there will soon be nothing left of all what America achieved in 400 years. Beauty pageants in rags, French fries made from marine weed, steaks cut from pressed animal intestines. You won’t drive in cars but in school buses. China will sell you their Boeing planes as you can’t make them anymore. This if your Bob gets his way. All in a beautiful sinkhole of what once was a great nation. Like the Roman Empire.
Bob: Right, that’s exactly what Obama set out to do. Transform America to a third word country. He can be proud of that achievement. Soon we will ask the IMF to lend us money. That’s how it should be. China will fund the IMF with the treasury bonds they got in return for paying US bills. We shall be relieved of being number one or feeling we should be. The dollar will become the Chinese Yen. They already bought the Empire Building and have their Regional Office there. From riches to rags. Beautiful. All equal in misery, happily swallowing fortune cookies.
Paul Turnmeon: I like Chinese girls. Beautiful dark slanted eyes, little feet, sleek fingers, and good cooks. And they look good in rags.
Marlene Femenazi: What about our own good women in rags, Paul?
Henriette Forgetmenot: And what about our women cooks?
Talma from Mars TV: Does anybody there know what Donal Trump eats?
Charlene Knowitall: Healthy Food rich in flavor and nicely decorated. No left-wing broccoli.
Kathryn: Mars, so I hear that both panels prefer Trump, except Bob Demmofool who likes to continue the decline and Charles Hammerschmidt because he thinks Trump is not an intellectual like him. I bet on my Trump card. I hope The Donald will pull it off. You must be smart to do what he did, and as for me I can’t stomach the leftist political correctness and socialist policies anymore that have led to disaster. It may lead to another civil war. Petraeus must take over to stop the hemorrhaging till Trump is elected and send the politicians home for a while. I should not be saying this because I am the anchor, but I have my own opinion too.
Mars Man: Our view here is that all these politicians vouching for the US Presidency are dwarfs compared to Donald Trump. Your environmentalists dislike him because he builds golf courses on arid lands, all leftists don’t like him because they find him a clown, all leftist media (and that is about all of them) spurn him because he would take their sour bread away. We hope he wins. Another four to eight year democrat leftist White House and the USA is finished. Until next time!
Don’t forget: SOME WOMEN I HAVE KNOWN
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